Twelve Thousand in Foreign Currency and a Luxury Handbag

A wealthy man once willingly indulged the woman he loved, buying her an expensive handbag. After learning the Dharma, he chose instead to encourage her to use the money for good deeds.

In the middle of a busy workday, the wealthy man's office was filled with the rustling of papers and footsteps coming and going. As he bent over his work, the phone beside him vibrated. The moment he saw who was calling, his tense eyes lit up at once. He set his work aside and answered the call.

The woman he loved was standing in a luxurious boutique. Around her, handbags were neatly displayed under the lights. She had noticed one bag priced at twelve thousand in foreign currency. It was a very large sum, but she believed that if she simply liked it, he would not have the heart to refuse.

The man was accustomed to expressing his affection by indulging her every wish. For him, as long as the person he loved was happy, that was enough. He rarely paused to consider whether the item was truly necessary, whether the money spent was too wasteful, or whether such indulgence might create an unhealthy habit for both of them.

Over the phone, her voice rang out full of expectation:

"Honey, I'm standing in a shop. I saw a really beautiful bag."

He leaned back in his chair and smiled:

"If you like it, take a look. How much is it?"

"Twelve thousand in foreign currency. Can I buy it?"

The figure was not small, but he hardly hesitated. He only thought of how delighted she would be holding the bag in her hands. The love in his heart instantly turned into approval:

"Go ahead, buy it."

On the other end of the line, she happily thanked him. The call ended very quickly. He put down the phone and returned to his work, as if he had just agreed to purchase an ordinary item. He had money, so he felt fully capable of providing for her wishes. And she, being indulged, saw no need to think twice.

But the matter was not truly harmless. An expensive bag carried out into the world could be lost, snatched away, or quickly become an old item. That large sum of money created no blessings from merit for either the giver or the receiver. The man spent money to please, while the woman grew accustomed to satisfying extravagant desires.

Later, the man had the opportunity to visit a temple and listen to the Dharma. In that tranquil space, he was reminded that love is not merely making the person you cherish happy for a passing moment. To love in the true sense is to help that person become better—to know restraint, to cherish their blessings from merit, and to use their wealth for worthwhile things.

He sat quietly, recalling all the times he had so easily nodded at expensive purchases. He had once believed that refusing was a lack of love, that advising against something would make the other person sad. But at that moment he suddenly understood: indulging a wasteful desire is not always an act of love. Sometimes that very indulgence depletes the blessings from merit of both people.

It was a turning point in how he viewed love. He did not become cold, nor did he become stingy toward the one he loved. He simply began to ask himself before every act of giving: Will this help her become a better person? Could this money be used for something more meaningful?

On another occasion, the phone rang again while he was busy. It was the same familiar voice, the same excitement from the shop:

"Honey, I found another beautiful bag. I really love it."

He was not harsh. His voice remained gentle:

"Do you really need that bag?"

"I think it's beautiful. You have money, so buying it shouldn't be a problem."

He fell silent for a moment. This was precisely the moment his love was being tested. If he only wanted to make her happy right away, he could have nodded as before. But if he wanted lasting good for her, he needed the strength to resist that desire while still remaining courteous.

"I do have money—it's not that I don't," he said slowly. "But spending twelve thousand in foreign currency on a handbag would be such a waste."

She felt a little disappointed:

"So you don't want to buy it for me?"

He did not let her question turn into resentment. He gently explained:

"It's not that I don't love you. It's precisely because I love you that I want us to use that money for something better. If you carry the bag out and it gets snatched or lost, what a waste that would be."

"Then what would you do with the money?"

"We could give it to charity, help those in difficulty, or make offerings. That money could create many good things, and you would gain blessings from merit as well. Wouldn't that be more precious than a handbag?"

The woman did not answer right away. The joy of shopping had just faded, yet his words carried no stinginess or imposition. He still loved her, still spoke with a caring voice—he simply no longer measured love by fulfilling her every whim.

The man, too, felt an inner struggle. He knew that simply saying "buy it" would make everything easy—she would be happy at once, and he would be spared any explaining. But that ease would help no one grow. He chose patience, because sometimes loving rightly requires accepting a little present displeasure.

In the end, he held firm to his decision not to buy the luxury handbag. He proposed dedicating the money to wholesome good deeds. This resolution did not diminish the love between them. On the contrary, it placed their relationship on a firmer foundation: caring for each other's long-term blessings from merit, rather than chasing momentary satisfaction.

From then on, whenever he wished to give the one he loved a gift, he no longer looked only at the value of the item or the smile of the moment. He considered whether the act of giving would feed greed and waste, or help the other person live more virtuously. He remained gentle, but within that gentleness there was now principle. He still loved, but within that love there was now wisdom and firmness.

The Meaning of the Story

Love is not indulging every desire. True love must be accompanied by wisdom and firmness, guiding the one we cherish toward a life of restraint, of creating merit, and of ever-greater goodness.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Venerable Thích Chân Quang