Praise, Sorrow, and the Fishhook

One afternoon at a small meditation monastery, golden sunlight stretched across the brick courtyard, while the temple bell rang softly in the breeze. Inside the lecture hall, hundreds of lay Buddhists sat in silence, their eyes fixed on the teacher who spoke with gentle ease. The atmosphere was warm and intimate, like an afternoon tea among family members.

The teacher paused for a moment, looked around, and began to speak. Today, he said, we are learning about feeling aggregates, which encompass our experiences of happiness and sorrow. He asked his students if they knew why they felt joy or sadness. These feelings do not arise spontaneously; they depend on conditions. He raised his hand slowly to illustrate. For example, hearing praise brings joy. Once joyful, we like the person who praised us. Conversely, hearing criticism brings sadness, leading us to dislike the critic. This chain happens so quickly that we mistake it for a single event.

An elderly woman in the front row nodded gently. The teacher smiled and posed a question. What does a young man feel when he sees a beautiful woman? The hall buzzed with whispers and giggles. The elderly woman shyly raised her hand and replied that she felt fear. The room erupted in laughter. The teacher laughed along and asked why. She scratched her head awkwardly, explaining that her husband was sitting right behind her. Applause filled the air as the teacher joked that such a confused answer might mean she would not make it home that evening.

Waiting for the laughter to subside, the teacher returned to a serious tone. He pointed out how rapidly this psychological chain operates. The eye sees an image, a surge of excitement arises within, and then liking follows. The Buddha calls this liking craving. The initial excitement is feeling, and the beautiful woman represents contact, or the condition.

He paused, gazing out the window, his voice deepening. He explained that this sensation of pleasure is not trivial. It relates to cause and effect (karmic law) and our blessings from merit. Each time we enjoy a pleasant sensation, whether from praise, music, or imagination, our blessings from merit are slightly diminished. Conversely, each time we endure suffering (dukkha), we are paying off past karma.

A young man in the middle of the hall listened intently, his expression thoughtful. The teacher addressed him directly. When someone praises you and you feel happy, you are depleting your blessings from merit. However, if you remain calm and unmoved by praise, no merit is lost. Understanding this is easy, but practicing it is difficult.

He shared a story about visiting a friend who served as the chairman of a distant province. Upon entering the house, he found rooms cluttered with dust and debris, from broken wood to scattered papers, because the owner was always working. The teacher asked whose fault this disorder was. It belonged to the wife at home. People say that a refined woman keeps her home tidy. If one’s eyes can no longer discern beauty or messiness, there may be issues within their mind/heart.

The teacher emphasized that the beauty of a person is like a wriggling worm on a fishhook. It looks appetizing and attractive, but biting it means getting caught. Therefore, whenever you see someone beautiful, remember the worm on the hook and do not bite. The hall burst into laughter again.

He continued with another anecdote. A husband was scolded by his wife, who accused him of being two-faced. She complained that last month he called her a gift from heaven, yet now he treated her coldly. The husband calmly replied that this month he also said it was a gift from heaven, but specifically a burden. He saw nothing contradictory in his words.

Laughter rose once more, but the teacher quickly guided everyone back to the main topic. He noted that people still cling to external appearances because they strike the eye, create excitement, and generate likes and dislikes. However, if we understand this chain and comprehend feeling, we can master our own mind/heart.

Looking around the room, his voice grew warm. Instead of imagining yourself as a king standing proudly over others, imagine yourself as a speck of dust beneath the feet of the Buddha. Imagine yourself as a servant to all, bowing respectfully to everyone you meet. This is how imagination creates blessings from merit. Both types of imagination exist, but one exhausts merit while the other increases it. Which will you choose?

The hall fell silent, each person lost in thought. The teacher smiled gently, his eyes radiating kindness and acceptance toward all.

The Meaning of the Story

The lesson Venerable Thich Chan Quang wishes to convey is that feelings of happiness and sorrow do not arise naturally but are triggered by conditions through contact. The psychological chain of contact, feeling, and craving occurs so swiftly that we easily confuse them. More importantly, every pleasant sensation we enjoy consumes the blessings from merit accumulated in the past, while every instance of suffering (dukkha) we endure pays off old karma. Therefore, learn to maintain equanimity amidst praise and blame, do not let external circumstances dictate your state, and direct your mind toward actions that generate merit. Imagine yourself as a servant or a speck of dust beneath the Buddha’s feet, rather than indulging in fantasies of enjoyment.

Compiled from the dharma talk of Venerable Thich Chan Quang