The Enemy Named "Preference"

On the morning of the sixth day of the Lunar New Year, golden sunlight stretched across the temple courtyard, and a gentle breeze carried the faint scent of pomelo blossoms. Inside the lecture hall, hundreds of Buddhists sat in silence, awaiting the teacher’s words. The temple bell rang out, resonating deeply, before the Master began to speak.

“Today, we discuss a very important topic: Be careful with what you like.”

The Master’s gaze swept over the assembly, his voice warm yet powerful enough to move every heart. He shared a story: “There was a female Buddhist who, upon meeting her current husband, felt an intuition whispering, ‘This is the partner of my life.’ And so it was. They loved each other, married, and together discovered the Buddha's teachings (Dharma). They took refuge, practiced diligently, and grew spiritually. This was a good intuition, born from blessings from merit and favorable conditions.”

But the Master paused, his tone deepening. “Yet how many people meet someone attractive, become infatuated, and have their lives shattered because they loved the wrong person? Some wish to be doctors, forcing themselves to study, but find the field unsuitable. They struggle, lose motivation, and feel depressed. Only when they switch to becoming civil engineers, working under sun and wind to build bridges and roads, do they finally find happiness.”

He emphasized, “Initial preferences are often mistaken. There are two types of liking: one driven by karma, the other by merit; one by personality, the other by wisdom. A British royal once taught her child, ‘Listen to your heart, and you will never be wrong.’ Yet ultimately, she made mistakes, for she followed her heart without using wisdom to examine it.”

Looking around, the Master’s voice became firm. “A true practitioner reflects on their likes, restrains them, and does not let them lead them astray. If you rush toward or try to seize whatever you like, you are mostly wrong. Of ten things you like, nine are mistakes.”

He offered an example: “During the New Year, you might enjoy visiting friends, thinking it harmless. But this leads to drinking parties, arguments, and even murders. News reports mention dozens of deaths due to alcohol during the holidays, including cases where victims were stabbed through the neck. What seems like a harmless preference can hide great danger.”

Then he spoke about video games: “Children love games, seeing them as civilized and intellectually stimulating. But they cause addiction. Some children killed their parents to get money for gaming. Others acted out game scenarios, ready to kill because they had internalized the violence. One girl, obsessed with gaming while caring for her baby, silenced her crying infant by covering its mouth until it died, then continued playing until she was arrested.”

The Master also mentioned the desire to travel during the New Year, abandoning family, temple, and teachers for personal pleasure. “This is ingratitude. An ungrateful person will face the karmic consequence of loneliness and isolation in old age, having disregarded sacred bonds.”

He recounted stories of gambling enthusiasts: “Seeing someone stumble, they deduce the number thirteen and bet on it, only for fourteen to appear. Another says, ‘He fell holding bread; thirteen plus one is fourteen.’ Some pick up dropped money and use the bill numbers to gamble. Such delusions abound.”

The Master taught, “Your greatest enemy is yourself. What is this self? It is what you like. From now on, whenever a preference arises, remember: the enemy has arrived. Ten likes, nine errors.”

Someone asked, “Master, how do we know which preferences are correct?”

He replied, “Only when you no longer cling to any specific preference will you see what needs to be done and simply do it. Act out of necessity, not desire. Filter out attachment from your mind/heart, and only then will you act rightly.”

The Master smiled gently. “Some say I am passionate about music. I reveal that I can sing, compose, and play instruments, but I am not attached to music. I compose to educate and express reverence for the Buddha, not for personal emotion. I write poetry only for teaching purposes, not for myself.”

He concluded, “Our preferences depend on four factors: wisdom, morality, past karma, and collective psychology. Wise people prefer noble things; foolish ones prefer trivialities. Moral people like to help others; immoral ones like to harm. Past karma leads us to certain relationships. Collective psychology makes us follow trends, such as fans idolizing Korean stars.”

He shared a story of cause and effect (karmic law): “A young man came to me, suffering because his lover left him to marry another. I asked, ‘Why suffer?’ He said, ‘You do not love, so you do not understand.’ I reflected and said, ‘In a past life, a woman died by the roadside. Many passed by, ignoring her body. You stopped, covered her with your coat, and left. Another person came later, stayed to dig a grave, buried her properly, and erected a marker. In this life, because you covered her, she loved you for a time. But the one who buried her is the one she married, for his debt of gratitude was heavier.’”

The Master stressed, “Our likes are shaped by past karma. People prefer some individuals and not others due to previous debts. Someone may like a frail, rambling teacher because, in a past life, that teacher served as their servant. They do not like a handsome, capable teacher because they owe no debt.”

He finished, “Therefore, be careful with what you like. Ten likes, nine errors. Use meditative concentration to control your preferences, so you are no longer led by them. Only then can you do what is right, accumulate merit, and progress toward enlightenment.”

The Meaning of the Story

The lesson Venerable Thich Chan Quang wishes to convey is that our preferences are often guided by karma, emotions, and crowd psychology, making them prone to error. The greatest enemy in our lives is these ignorant attachments. Practitioners must examine and restrain their likes, using wisdom and meditative concentration to do what is necessary, rather than following blind desires.

Compiled from the dharma talk of Venerable Thich Chan Quang