Two Slaps and the True Lesson of Patience

**Summary:** After being slapped twice, a person does not react. But is that true patience? The Teacher explains: only when one has the strength to win but chooses not to, restraining oneself out of compassion and to avoid creating karmic debts, can it be called genuine patience.

During a dharma talk, within the quiet atmosphere of the meditation hall, the Teacher suddenly paused. He looked across the assembly and asked:

"Imagine someone rushes in and slaps you twice across the face. You do not react at all. Would that be patience?"

The congregation looked puzzled. Someone murmured, "If not that, then what would it be?"

The Teacher smiled and continued, "The person then slaps you a third time, and you still do not react. Is that patience now?"

No one could answer. The Teacher then explained: "For example, you are four feet eight inches tall, while the person who strikes you is six feet tall. You weigh seventy pounds; they weigh one hundred and sixty-five pounds. They slap you twice and you do not react. That is not patience; it is a lack of courage!"

The whole assembly burst into laughter. The Teacher continued, "What you held back from was fear, so you simply endured it. That is not patience; there is no nobility in that. True patience is when you could block that slap, or even twist their arm or knock them down, but you choose not to. You have the strength to win but no desire to claim victory."

The Teacher added, "There are people who might slap you out of a misunderstanding. You know they are acting on baseless anger, so you smile gently. They are surprised and ask, 'Why did you speak ill of me?' Only then do you calmly explain, 'In this world, the only person who speaks ill of you is yourself. I never speak ill of anyone.' After hearing this, they understand, and their anger fades."

The Teacher emphasized, "Patience must be backed by true strength. It is the ability to retaliate, but because of compassion, and to avoid creating karmic debts for future lives, you choose forbearance. This is how the Bodhisattvas cultivate the patience of a spiritual practitioner. They know clearly who seeks to harm them and understand the schemes involved, yet they harbor no anger and offer no reaction, thus settling past karma without creating new causes."

**The Meaning of the Story**

The lesson the Teacher wishes to impart is this: patience is not weakness or fear. It is the inner strength of one who possesses the character to be victorious but chooses a different path, guided by compassion and wisdom. True patience helps us avoid creating karmic entanglements, purifies our karma, and leads us toward inner peace and liberation. Conversely, if we only restrain ourselves out of fear, it is not yet true patience and lacks spiritual merit.

*Compiled from a dharma talk by Venerable Thích Chân Quang*