Saving People Through Respect

One weekend afternoon, on the stone bench in front of her porch, Lan sat sighing as she looked at her close friend Hung. Hung was a successful man, but he was selfish, often dishonest in business, and believed in nothing but money. Lan, after many years of practicing the Buddha's teachings (Dharma), had clearly seen the law of cause and effect (karmic law): those who live without kindness often meet with suffering (dukkha) later on. She felt compassion for Hung and wanted to help him change, but every time she brought up cause and effect (karmic law), Hung would sneer: "You believe in that stuff? I see wicked people getting rich and good people staying poor. Where's the cause and effect (karmic law) in that?"

Lan tried many approaches. She gave him Buddhist books, and Hung tossed them aside. She gave him recorded dharma talks, and Hung refused to listen. She felt helpless. But then she remembered her teacher's words: "With those who have no roots of goodness, do not speak directly about cause and effect (karmic law). First make them respect the noble ones, for respect will strengthen their roots of goodness."

Lan began to change her approach. One day, she invited Hung over for a meal. During the meal, she said nothing about the teachings. She simply told a short story: "Yesterday I read about Master Hsu Yun, a Chinese Zen master. He walked three steps and bowed once, for years on end, to show his devotion to the Buddha. Once, he came to an abandoned temple where a fierce tiger was lying. But when the tiger saw him, it knelt down meekly and asked to take refuge. I found it so wondrous!" Hung only grunted in response, but there was a hint of curiosity in his eyes.

The following week, she told another story: "There was a bodhisattva named Kasyapa who lived very simply, wearing only coarse patched robes, yet everyone who met him felt a sense of peace. He could sit in meditative concentration for seven days without eating and still remain strong." Hung began to ask questions: "Really? How do you know?" Lan smiled and did not answer directly. She only said: "I read it in a book. I found it so interesting I wanted to share it."

Gradually, over many meetings, Lan told Hung about the Buddha, about his life of renouncing the throne, about his boundless compassion. Each story was only a short passage, and then she would move on to another topic, never forcing anything. Hung, who had once been skeptical, began to take interest. He wondered to himself: "How can people be like that? What do they live for?"

One evening, after hearing Lan tell the story of how Maudgalyayana used his supernatural powers to save his mother, Hung suddenly said: "Lan, tell me more about cause and effect (karmic law). I think there's something to it." Lan was quietly overjoyed, but she kept her voice calm: "Sure, I'll tell you little by little. But first, try reading this small book." This time, Hung took the book and did not throw it away. He read it, asked more questions, and began exploring on his own. After a few months, Hung had completely changed: he began doing charity work, lived more responsibly, and regularly visited the temple to listen to dharma talks.

Lan looked at her friend, her heart overflowing with joy. She understood that to save a person, one cannot speak directly at first, but must take the winding path: awaken respect for the noble ones, so that the roots of goodness within them can grow, and then naturally they will embrace the truth.

The Meaning of the Story

When you want to help someone believe in the teachings, do not rush to speak directly about cause and effect (karmic law) or doctrine, especially with those who have no roots of goodness. Use an indirect approach: tell stories about the noble ones, about the Buddha, to awaken respect within them. That respect will strengthen their roots of goodness, and only then can they receive and absorb the teachings.

Adapted from a dharma talk by Venerable Thich Chan Quang