The First Attachment – The Enemy Who Follows Us for Life

On the morning of the sixth day of the Lunar New Year, golden sunlight gently scattered across the temple courtyard. The bell rang out, blending with the warm scent of incense. Inside the lecture hall, hundreds of Buddhist practitioners sat in silence, their eyes fixed on the dharma seat. The teacher smiled and began his dharma talk: “Be careful with what you like.”

The teacher shared a story: “There was a female practitioner who, upon meeting her current husband, felt an intuition whispering to her heart: ‘This is the partner of my life.’ Indeed, they loved each other, married, and together discovered the Buddha's teachings (Dharma). They took refuge and practiced diligently. That was a good intuition. But there are those who meet a charming man, fall deeply in love, and then see their lives shatter. This happens because that liking was a mistake in choosing a partner.”

The teacher paused, looking around the room. “In this world, we like many things. Some likes are right, some are wrong. Some are driven by karma, others by intuition. But one thing is certain: out of ten things we like, nine are wrong.”

A practitioner raised a hand and asked, “Teacher, how can I know which of my likes are correct?”

The teacher replied, “Only when you no longer cling to any particular preference will you see clearly what needs to be done. You act because it is necessary, not because you like it. When you remove the desire for 'liking' from your mind/heart, only then do you begin to do what is truly right.”

He continued with another story about a young man who came to a monk, suffering greatly. “Teacher,” he cried, “my lover has left me to marry someone else.” The monk contemplated for a moment and said, “In a past life, a girl died on the side of the road. Many people passed by, saw her, and walked away. You came, took off your coat, covered her body, and left. Another person arrived later, stayed to dig a grave, buried her properly, and erected a tombstone. In this life, because you covered her with your coat, she loved you for a time. But the person she married was the one who gave her a proper burial. That debt of gratitude was heavier, so it became a marriage.”

The young man fell silent. The monk explained, “Your liking in this life is guided by past karma. If the kindness received was small, your attachment is short; if the kindness was great, your attachment lasts longer. Do not blame yourself, nor blame others. Understand cause and effect (karmic law).”

The teacher emphasized, “Our preferences depend on four factors: wisdom, morality, past karma, and collective psychology. A wise person likes noble things; a foolish person likes trivial matters. A moral person likes to help others; an immoral person likes to harm them. Past karma pushes us toward specific conditions (dependent origination) and debts. Collective psychology makes us like what everyone else likes.”

He told of a woman addicted to virtual parenting games. She was so absorbed in playing that when her real baby cried, she reached over to cover its mouth to stop the noise, and the child died. She was imprisoned. The teacher said, “What seems like a harmless liking hides danger. In games, killing is normal. Once this mindset enters the heart, stepping into real life, people become ready to kill.”

He also spoke of a young man addicted to loud electronic music. He visited the teacher with tense eyes and insomnia. “Do you listen to heavy bass music?” the teacher asked. The boy nodded. The teacher explained, “The pounding bass hits the brain, forcing it to use energy to respond. Listening for too long damages the brain. You have drawn all energy from your lower abdomen up to your head to absorb the sound, locking your brain in a state of depletion. You are young now, but your future is dark.”

The teacher advised, “The greatest enemy of your life is yourself. What is this self? It is what you like. From now on, whenever a liking arises, remember: the enemy is approaching. Examine it, test it. Do not let your preferences lead you blindly.”

A practitioner asked, “Teacher, do you like music?” The teacher laughed. “I am not obsessed with music. I compose music for education, to express reverence for the Buddha, and to call for universal compassion. I do not write music for my own emotions. I need a pure inner peace, not worldly happiness.”

The teacher concluded, “A true practitioner looks back at their preferences and restrains them. One who controls their likes, using wisdom to illuminate and do only what is necessary, possesses the qualities of a saint. Their blessings from merit accumulate over many lifetimes, growing until they achieve enlightenment.”

The Meaning of the Story

The lesson Venerable Thich Chan Quang wishes to convey is this: Nine out of ten things we like are wrong. Our preferences are often driven by karma, collective psychology, and a lack of wisdom and morality. Therefore, do not hastily follow fleeting desires or whims. Examine them carefully, using wisdom and ethics to discern right from wrong. The greatest enemy in our lives is what we like. Only by controlling these attachments can we find true freedom, happiness, and peace.

Compiled from the dharma talk of Venerable Thich Chan Quang