The Shadow of Oneself

One afternoon, I sat in the living room of a Buddhist family in Saigon. The heavy rain had just stopped, leaving the air cool and filled with the scent of wet earth. Before me sat a man around forty years old, dressed neatly, yet his eyes darted nervously, revealing an inner unrest. He bowed respectfully, joined his palms together, and began to speak.

"Venerable teacher, I have practiced for many years. I am certain that I have attained the Buddha’s wisdom."

I looked at him without rushing to respond. He continued, his voice brimming with pride. "I see this body as empty, this mind as empty. I have seen the profound emptiness within. I believe I am close to enlightenment."

I sighed softly. Over the years, I have met many people like him. They claim to have achieved awakening, believing they possess something sublime. Yet, this very sense of possession is the root of all suffering (dukkha). I recalled the Buddha’s teachings on non-self (anatta), explaining that the ego is not real, yet humans cling to it endlessly. He repeated these truths because beings often lack the faith or strength to see clearly. But the man before me believed he had already seen and proven it. This confidence, this sense of having, was precisely the trap.

I asked him, "If you see yourself as empty, does the 'I who sees' still exist?" He froze, unable to answer. I continued, "As long as there is an 'I who sees,' an 'I who attains,' then that emptiness is not true emptiness. There are still many layers to uncover." He lowered his head, but I knew his heart remained unconvinced. He still considered himself special, someone who had gained something. And according to the law of cause and effect (karmic law), this sense of having would lead to his downfall.

It happened exactly as predicted. About three years later, I heard news about him. He had abandoned his family and job to follow a strange sect. There, he was worshipped as a saint, hailed as an incarnation of the Buddha. He believed in hollow promises of heavenly realms and liberation. He gave away all his wealth, time, and life to serve this group. Eventually, when the sect was exposed as a fraud, he lost everything. Not only did he lose his money, but also his dignity and the respect of others. He became a drifting soul, with no home and nowhere to belong. The 'having' he once boasted of had turned into a massive zero.

In contrast, I remember an elderly monk from my hometown. He lived quietly, unknown to most. He never claimed any title or boasted about his practice. He simply helped others silently, living a pure life, seeing himself as nothing. Yet, everyone who visited him felt a deep peace and compassion radiating from him. They respected him, viewing him as a holy figure. He did not seek recognition, but recognition came naturally. Because he saw himself as empty, others saw him as full, worthy of respect, and enlightened.

The stories of this man and the elderly monk remain vivid in my memory. They reveal a subtle law of cause and effect (karmic law): those who see themselves as 'having,' as superior or special, will receive 'nothingness'—collapse and total loss. Those who see themselves as 'empty,' embodying non-self (anatta), will attain the greatest 'having'—the Buddha’s wisdom and absolute enlightenment.

The Buddha taught about non-self (anatta), showing that the ego is an illusion, yet humans continue to cling to this false 'self.' This clinging gives rise to greed, hatred and delusion. Only when we truly let go of the 'self,' realizing it has no inherent existence, can we achieve genuine peace and liberation. However, this path is difficult. Even the thought 'I see myself as empty' remains a form of 'I.' We must let go completely, without any trace of attachment, to glimpse the truth.

The first man, seeing himself as 'having,' lost everything. The elderly monk, seeing himself as 'empty,' gained respect and peace. The difference lies in how one views oneself. This is the greatest lesson I wish to share with everyone.

The Meaning of the Story

This tale illustrates the karmic law regarding 'having' and 'emptiness' within oneself. Those who view themselves as possessing high spiritual attainment will face collapse and loss. Those who embrace non-self (anatta) and humility will attain the Buddha’s wisdom and enlightenment. Let us let go of the illusory ego, live with humility, and find true peace and liberation.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Venerable Thich Chan Quang