The Relative And The Absolute: Which Happiness Never Fades?

Have you ever wondered what in this world is truly lasting and unchanging? Will today's joy still exist tomorrow? Will today's love remain forever as it was in the beginning? In the dharma talk "The Relative And The Absolute," Venerable Thích Chân Quang opens a profound perspective that helps us distinguish between temporary values and eternal ones.

What Are The Relative And The Absolute?

By standard definition, the relative is something that can be compared and contrasted with other things, something that admits of more and less. The absolute is a unique value that cannot be compared or contrasted with anything at all. The world often uses the word "relative" to mean "so-so, passable," but its true meaning is far deeper. In the relative, everything has two sides, winning and losing, high and low, all depending on external conditions. The absolute, by contrast, transcends all comparison; it is the manifestation of a supreme, unchanging value.

The Buddha: The Absolute Sage

The Buddha is called the absolute sage because no philosophical or sacred value can be compared with him. In terms of worldly roles, the Buddha is no longer a crown prince, no longer a husband or father, holding no duty whatsoever in the three realms and six paths. But in terms of sacred standing, his holiness far surpasses all the heavenly kings; even the kings of celestial realms with supreme power must bow in reverence to the Buddha.

"The Buddha is the absolute sage because no sacred or philosophical value can be compared with him. That is why another term is used to praise the Buddha's sacred position: the Supreme One."

This is also a warning for us: we should not hastily call ourselves "the Supreme One" or "the Supreme Teacher" before attaining perfect enlightenment, for doing so is not only shallow but also heavily depletes our blessings from merit.

Worldly Joy: Relative And Quickly Tiresome

Nearly all joys in this world are relative, because they must seek an external condition. We are happy only when praised, happy only when we win the lottery, happy only when the one we love responds. But such joy quickly grows tiresome, and the longer it lasts, the more exhausting it becomes. Like romantic love that begins with passion and then fades with time. Or like a beautiful song that we eventually grow tired of hearing. For this reason, life constantly demands something new, and many people fall into entertainment, even drugs, in search of excitement, only to burn up their energy and blessings from merit in the end.

"Every joy in life, look as we may, is relative and fleeting."

Love And Compassion: Relative Or Absolute?

Love between people usually comes with conditions. We love someone, but if that person does not love us back, it is hard to keep loving. A lonely old man loves a child and wants love in return; he gives the child cakes and money, but the child, craving play, runs off, and in the end the old man grows weary. Worldly love depends on being answered, so it is relative. The compassion of the Buddha and the bodhisattva is absolute, arising from unconditional love that demands nothing in return.

"Love between sentient beings is mostly relative. Why? Because it requires conditions."

As we practice, we learn to love without demanding, and thus gradually approach the absolute compassion of the heart and mind.

The Absolute Happiness Of A Pure Inner Mind

In contrast to worldly pleasure, there is a kind of absolute happiness that needs no external condition, grows better the longer it lasts, and never becomes tiresome. It is the happiness arising from a pure inner mind, when the mind is free of wandering thoughts, within meditative concentration. The sages need only sit in meditation to experience overflowing joy, without conversation, without social contact, complete within body and mind. This happiness never runs dry; it only increases with practice.

"A pure inner mind. This is something remarkable. The joy within meditative concentration... requiring no external condition, is called absolute happiness."

We cannot yet reach the absolute, but we are walking toward it step by step. The Buddha's teachings (Dharma) bring us calmness and a joy in doing charitable works, a joy in meditative concentration, so that we live with greater stability and lightness.

We can live more at ease when we clearly understand the relative and the absolute. Do not cling to joys that quickly grow stale; do not let the mind depend on external conditions. Turn instead toward the inner life, practice meditative concentration, and open your heart to everyone with unconditional love. Day by day, little by little, we will move toward absolute happiness, the peace that never fades.