The Philosophy of Death: Why Vietnamese Culture Values Death Anniversaries More Than Birthdays

Each time a death anniversary arrives, the Vietnamese observe a unique cultural practice. Rather than celebrating the day of birth, we honor the day of passing. Why is this so? Venerable Thích Chân Quang, in his Dharma talk on "The Philosophy of Death," provided a deep explanation, offering teachings that help us understand death and how to live a complete life.

Why do Vietnamese people honor death anniversaries?

People in the West often celebrate a person's birthday. However, the Vietnamese place great importance on the death anniversary, the day of remembrance for someone who has passed away. This difference is not by chance.

"We place great importance on the death anniversary because it is a time to praise the karma, the achievements, and the contributions that person made during their life on earth."

When a person is first born, they have yet to create any significant karma, so the birthday is a time of pure joy. The death anniversary, however, is a moment to reflect on an entire journey. It allows descendants to connect and reminds them of the contributions of their ancestors and parents. This encourages the living to uphold morality and live virtuously, so that the remembrance by their descendants will be worthy.

"Why should we conduct ourselves with integrity? So that on the day we die, when others hold the memorial ceremony, they will speak of us with praise, honor, and respect."

What is death? A surprising definition.

In his talk, Venerable Thích Chân Quang offered a concise definition: "Death is when the brain ceases to function." This holds true from both a medical and a moral perspective. However, the manner of death differs. For enlightened meditation masters, they can voluntarily leave their body while in deep meditative concentration, allowing the brain to stop receiving blood and passing away in serenity. But for most of us, we must experience a cerebral shock before death.

"Death is not a gentle process."

When blood no longer reaches the brain, the brain cells are shocked. The person becomes dizzy, loses consciousness, and may vomit before passing away. This is a very distressing stage, especially when prolonged illness torments the body. Only great meditation masters or those with immense merit can achieve a peaceful death. For the rest of us, we often rely on illness or accidents for the blood flow to the brain to cease.

After death, where does one go?

After the physical body is no longer a means of communication, the consciousness continues to exist. The deceased does not depart immediately but often lingers in the home. They can clearly see their own body lying there and hear the weeping of loved ones, yet they cannot speak. They wish to comfort their family, but no one can hear them, causing immense suffering. Furthermore, the ego remains fully intact: they still remember who they are and harbor regrets about lost wealth, power, or love.

"Thus, although the body dies, the ego continues to exist."

According to the force of their karma, each person will take a different path. A person who has attained enlightenment through practice can choose their destination in serenity. One who has created great merit but still has a mind of anger may become a deity. One with blessings will await rebirth as a human. One who lacks merit and is miserly and selfish will become a wandering, hungry ghost upon death. One who has committed evil deeds, slandered the worthy, and feels no remorse will be led by demons to the hells.

How should we live to die peacefully?

The greatest lesson from the philosophy of death is that we cannot know the time of our passing, but we can prepare ourselves for a serene state of mind. To do this, from this very moment, we should live virtuously, help others, practice diligently, and engage in repentance.

"If our heart still knows how to feel remorse, we will never fall into the hells."

Those who maintain a heart of repentance and know how to atone for their wrongdoings will be saved by the divine. Those who create merit, always show love, and practice forgiveness will be welcomed by the celestial beings. The enlightened depart in freedom, without fear. But the truly malicious, who remain unrepentant until the very end, will face their karmic consequences. Therefore, let us start today: live with compassion, avoid evil, and do good, so that death is no longer a source of terror, but a doorway back to peace.

Final words: Live each day as if the story of your life, told after you are gone, will be shared with love and reverence. This is how we prepare for our own passing.