Who Am I? – Waking Up with a Start in the Midst of Life

In the quiet of night, does anyone pause to ask: Who am I? That question opens the door to wisdom and the path out of samsara (cycle of rebirth).

One night, waking at midnight, you gaze into the darkness and wonder: "Who am I? Why am I here? When this life ends, where will I go?" If you have ever had such a moment, you are beginning to open the door to wisdom.

Am I my name, my body, or my thoughts?

When we ask "Who am I," we usually look at our name, our body, or our thoughts. But Thầy Thích Chân Quang points out: "Am I my name? Because that name can be changed by a court of law. Am I this physical form? Because it will grow old, fall ill, and die."

"Then what am I? Am I the thoughts in my mind? Those thoughts are formless and constantly shifting."

The body changes, the name can change, thoughts change in an instant. Yet there is something existing within us — a life force passing through every lifetime. If we do not find it, we will be swept along by the current of life, caught up in worries, struggles, and comparisons.

One who asks "Who am I" is one with wisdom

Amid busy lives, everyone chases after food, fame, fortune, happiness, and suffering. But few stop to pause. Thầy shares:

"Anyone who, at some moment in the night, wakes with a start and does not know who they are — that person is beginning to have wisdom, to have restlessness, to have a yearning to seek the truth in this life."

Feeling that we know nothing, feeling that we are still ignorant — that is the beginning of true understanding. Conversely, those who consider themselves wise can hardly make progress.

First, we are ignorant sentient beings

The Buddha called us "ignorant sentient beings" — unable to see, unable to know. Ignorance does not mean stupidity; it means not understanding the true nature of life and of ourselves. Thầy teaches:

"We are ignorant sentient beings. We must engrave this in our hearts, day by day, hour by hour. We are merely ignorant, mistaken beings who know nothing at all."

By knowing our own ignorance, we become humbler, less quick to criticize or argue. We become ready to learn. That is the first foundation of practice.

We still carry the heavy burden of self-attachment

Alongside ignorance, we carry an enormous ego. Self-attachment is seeing a "self" as truly important. This ego makes us angry when criticized, irritated when we clash with others, and proud when we succeed. Thầy observes:

"That ego is the source of countless wrongdoings. There are even people who enter the path of practice and learn all the right words, yet the more they practice, the bigger their ego grows."

We need to practice in order to see that the ego is only an illusion. Only when we see that we are nobody at all do we truly set foot in the land of the Buddha.

Where do we come from — and where are we going?

Thầy also speaks of those who descended from higher realms or ascended from lower ones. Those from higher realms often have pleasant features, uplifted hearts, and a love of practice. Those from lower realms may carry traces of animal nature: deceit, greed, and delusion. But Thầy teaches: do not discriminate, for this is a realm where ordinary beings and saints live together. What matters is "whether one has understood the truth," not one's origin. Let go of the past and begin moving forward from this very moment.

The virtue of equality — seeing ourselves as everyone else

One of the noble virtues of Buddhism is the virtue of equality. When we see that we and others are no different, we love all beings and no longer harbor arrogance. Thầy tells the story of Zen Master Nam Tuyền and the cat. Two sides were arguing over a cat, and the master held up a knife, saying: Answer correctly and it lives; fail, and it dies. The disciples could not answer. Later, Triệu Châu arrived, said not a word, placed his sandal on his head, and walked out. Master Nam Tuyền nodded: "If you had been there that morning, you would have saved the cat." The implication: to see ourselves and all realms as not different, we must master the ego.

"The virtue of equality is like a teacher who is bowed to by lay Buddhists, yet in that moment his heart truly does not feel superior to them — he sees that he and the lay Buddhists are really just the same."

It is living without distinguishing high from low, rich from poor. Monastics shave their heads to erase the marks of social class. From that, the Sangha becomes a place of absolute equality.

Begin with your own question

Dear friends, do not wait until old age to seek the truth. Right now, while breath remains, take a minute to quiet your heart and ask: "Who am I?" If you have no answer yet, simply keep the question. That question will lead us back to the Buddha's teachings (Dharma), as Thầy said:

"When we understand who we are, we will naturally know how we must live in order to transform ourselves."

Begin the journey of awakening right now. Do not let life sweep us forever in ignorance and self-attachment. We can become someone at ease, loving, and clear-minded.