People With People: Different to Love Each Other

Have you ever wondered why we need each other yet fear one another? The farther apart we are, the more we miss and cherish each other. But when we live side by side, we often build high walls between us. In this dharma talk titled "People With People" at Long Thanh Pagoda, Venerable Thich Chan Quang helps us examine this eternal relationship through the eyes of a Buddhist practitioner. These are not mere theories but vivid lessons that allow us to see ourselves clearly and practice daily.

### We Are Born to Live Together

The Venerable begins with a simple yet profound observation: all sentient beings, humans included, must live in community and rely on one another. A lone ant will die within days, and a dog without a pack struggles to survive. Similarly, if humans have no one to lean on, they perish both physically and mentally.

"When people live together in community, they can sustain life, build life, and develop life. This is because they support each other through the division of labor."

He offers the example of a family: the husband hunts, the wife cooks, and the children help out. Through this cooperation, everyone thrives. As society advances, roles become more specialized, from general practitioners to specialists, or from the abbot to various temple officers. It is this mutual support that creates the strength of our communities and of Buddhism itself.

### Different to Love, Not to Hate

As we take on different roles, we become distinct. The Venerable emphasizes that these differences exist for support, not for discrimination or hatred. Whether one practices meditation, recites the Buddha’s name, engages in tantric practices, or performs charitable works, all are part of the Buddha's teachings (Dharma) and are brothers and sisters. When we meet someone unlike ourselves, let us remember that diversity enriches life.

"This is where morality and ethical principles reside. Humanity is complex, diverse, and multifaceted, with many tasks assigned to different individuals. Yet amidst these countless differences, we love, rely on, and support one another, rather than letting differences lead to hatred and distance."

He shares an encounter with missionaries from other religions. Instead of driving them away, we should offer them water, listen to their words, and introduce them to the Dharma. Because "we are different to love each other," understanding deepens our affection. Even Pure Land and Zen traditions, though distinct, can support each other’s progress.

### Needing Yet Fearing: The Paradox of Proximity

The Venerable points out a strange phenomenon: we cherish those far away but distance ourselves from those nearby. In the past, houses were sparse, yet neighbors visited freely without invitation. Today, despite living wall-to-wall, doors remain closed and fences rise high. What has changed?

"Humans possess a paradox: we both need and fear each other. Because we need one another, we cannot bear separation. Distance makes us seek each other; not seeing a face brings longing and memory... But when we are close, opening a door reveals the neighbor, and hearing sounds through the wall reminds us of their presence, so we shut doors tight out of fear."

This reveals an inner conflict: we crave closeness but dread vulnerability. We fear inconvenience, exploitation, and loss. The Venerable explains the root of this fear.

### Greed, Hatred, and Delusion: The Walls Between Us

If our neighbor were free from greed, hatred, and delusion, we would invite them into our homes without hesitation. However, because human hearts are restless, filled with greed, anger, and suspicion, we feel compelled to defend ourselves. The Venerable states plainly: we fear the greed, hatred, and delusion in others.

"Because every human heart contains greed, hatred, and delusion, that is what we fear. If our neighbor lacked these afflictions (kleshas), would we be afraid? No. We would open our doors and welcome them freely."

Thus, to live closely without building walls, we must learn to resolve greed, hatred, and delusion. This work begins within ourselves. As we reduce our own greed, anger, and ignorance, we generate peaceful energy that makes others feel safe in our presence.

### Practice Dissolves Walls and Expands Love

The Venerable advises us not to practice solely for personal gain, but to contribute to societal peace and joy. A true practitioner knows how to dwell alone in tranquility yet remains ready to open their heart when needed. Start with small acts: open your door, offer a neighbor a glass of water, listen without feeling threatened, and smile at those of other faiths.

When you notice differences, remind yourself: "We are different to love each other." When you feel fear, reflect: "I am afraid because greed, hatred, and delusion still linger in my mind." When you recognize your need for others, remember: humans are born to rely on one another. This path makes life warmer and more meaningful.

"Different, yet we must love and support each other. That is what it means to be human, and that is the essence of Buddhism."

Begin today: open your heart, open your door, and let human warmth heal. As the Venerable teaches, living with others, rejoicing with others, and creating merit for others—this is true practice, beauty, and happiness.