Doing Wrong for the Sake of Loved Ones: Is It Worth It? A Lesson from the Dhana Sutta

Have you ever heard someone tell themselves, "I do everything for my family, for my loved ones..." and then accept even the wrong things they do? It feels like a noble sacrifice, but is it truly beautiful? The Dhana Sutta we explore today will illuminate this question through the wisdom of the Venerable Sariputta.

The Man with Countless Duties

In the sutta, the Brahmin Dhana tells the Venerable Sariputta that he cannot help but slaughter animals, because he still has parents to care for, a wife and children to support, servants who labor for him, friends, ancestors, deities, kings, and even this very body. It all sounds quite reasonable. But the Venerable One does not preach; he simply asks: "If for the sake of those people you commit unwholesome and unrighteous deeds, when you die and fall into hell, who will be able to defend you?"

"What do you think, Dhana? If someone commits unwholesome and unrighteous deeds for the sake of their parents, and because of those conditions they are dragged down to hell by the guardians of hell, can they then say, 'I did it for my parents,' and be saved?" "No, Venerable One, they cannot."

Wisdom Is the Ability to Ask the Right Questions

Sariputta is honored as "Foremost in Wisdom." But his wisdom is not some lofty theory; it is the ability to ask questions that lead the other person to see the truth for themselves. For each person — parents, spouse and children, servants, friends — he asks the same thing: when one commits unwholesome karma for their sake, who can save you? And when one acts righteously for their sake, who fares better? The answer is obvious: the one who acts righteously fares better.

True Love Means Acting with Righteousness

Many people believe that "it is better to commit wrongs than to let someone else down." But true love cannot be built upon unrighteousness. If someone steals and deceives for the sake of their parents, can those parents truly be at peace? On the contrary, acting in accordance with the Dharma is precisely how one nurtures filial devotion. After hearing the Venerable One's questions, the Brahmin affirms it himself:

"One who commits unwholesome and unrighteous deeds for the sake of their parents does no good. One who performs righteous and wholesome deeds for the sake of their parents does far better. Practicing the righteous and the wholesome is always better than practicing the unwholesome and the unrighteous."

The Four Immeasurable Minds: The Path to the Brahma Realm

When the Brahmin Dhana fell gravely ill, the Venerable Sariputta knew that he was deeply attached to the Brahma realm. So he showed him the path to rebirth there: abiding in the four immeasurable minds — loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. This is a love without conditions, without demands, transcending all boundaries.

"A monk pervades one direction with a mind filled with loving-kindness, then the second, the third, and the fourth direction; above, below, and across; everywhere, in all directions, boundless and without end. He radiates a mind of vast, boundless loving-kindness, free of hatred and free of ill will. And so it is with the mind of compassion, the mind of joy, and the mind of equanimity."

Looking Further Ahead: Wisdom in Daily Life

The Buddha often taught: "Wisdom is seeing cause and effect (karmic law), seeing the consequences of every action." In his dharma talk, Venerable Thich Chan Quang gives the example of a person on a two-wheeled vehicle wanting to cross the road. They only look at one side, see it is clear, and cross — without noticing a vehicle already approaching from the other side — and end up stuck in the middle of traffic. A person lacking wisdom is one who only looks one step ahead. Whatever we do, we need to look many steps ahead.

"When we do something, we should anticipate what will happen and how we will need to handle it. We must look five or six steps ahead like that before we act."

The Dhana Sutta is not only a lesson in the wisdom of Sariputta; it is an invitation for each of us to practice living with mindfulness. Whenever an intention to do wrong arises for the sake of our loved ones, let us remember: no one can save us from bad karma. And no one needs us to do wrong in order to be loved. Let us choose the path of righteousness, so that the mind of loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity may become our companion in this very life.