On Advising Others and the Price to Pay: Why the Buddha Taught Us Not to Fear Being Disliked

Have you ever seen someone doing something wrong, wanted to offer a word of advice, but feared they would dislike you for it? Have you ever stayed silent, even knowing that person might stumble without a reminder? Today, based on a discourse by Master Thích Chân Quang on a verse from the Dhammapada, let us explore why the ancients said, "Moral authority makes even spirits tremble" – but above all, let us understand the mission of those who encourage goodness.

The Buddha's Verse on the One Who Encourages Goodness

In a story from the time of the Buddha, there were monks who were stubborn and refused to heed teachings. The Buddha summoned the two great elders, Sāriputta and Moggallāna, and instructed them to sternly expel those monks from the monastery. He also urged them to constantly remind and advise everyone, pointing out their faults. He taught:

Those who frequently admonish, encourage goodness, and prevent wrongdoing are cherished by the wise, but disliked by the wicked.

This is the verse that Master Thích Chân Quang expounded upon in his thirtieth dharma talk. Speaking truthful advice is by no means easy. No one likes hearing criticism from others. Yet the Buddha taught that this is something that must be done. If we refrain from advising anyone out of fear of being disliked, we incur a different kind of fault.

Why Does Advising Often Lead to Dislike?

Master Chân Quang explains clearly:

A person who often teaches and advises will certainly be disliked by others. This is a natural outcome and must be accepted. If we, out of fear of being disliked, dare not advise anyone, we incur a different fault. That fault is to later become mute, deaf, or blind.

For seeing others' faults and not stopping them is no small karmic consequence. However, when we advise, we must do so with genuine love in our hearts, not out of a desire to prove ourselves superior.

When we advise someone with true love in our hearts, the way we advise is very easy for them to accept.

It is the attitude of compassion that allows advice to enter a person's heart. The recipient will feel loved, not hurt or insulted.

Moral Authority: The Key to Making Advice Carry Weight

Master Chân Quang points out three important factors for building moral authority. This authority is an invisible force that earns others' respect and even makes spirits in the unseen world hold you in awe. A person with moral authority can advise others effectively. The three factors are:

First, we make offerings to the Buddha often, with heartfelt reverence. Second, we love all people with great generosity and breadth. And third, we dare to advise people when we see they are wrong.

When one possesses sufficient moral authority, one's words naturally carry weight. The wicked may dislike you, but they will still have to respect you. The virtuous will cherish and esteem you even more. And when your moral authority is great enough, the spirits and deities in the unseen world will naturally hold you in awe and not dare to cause disturbances.

The Process of Transformation: From Bad to Good and Beyond

Not everyone transforms immediately. Master Chân Quang teaches that when advising a person, we must assess their level. For a bad person, just helping them become a bit better is already a success. For a decent person, help them become good. For a good person, guide them to also advise others to become good.

The first step is moving from bad to decent. The second step is moving from decent to good. The third step is having the strength to advise others to become good as you are. The fourth step is having the strength to advise others to cultivate the path.

This demonstrates the patience and compassion needed in guiding others. Do not rush to force them to practice when they are still immersed in bad habits. Help them step by step, like a farmer watering a plant while waiting for the day of harvest.

The Responsibility of a Buddha's Disciple in the Information Age

Master Chân Quang emphasizes human interaction. In this age of information explosion, negativity spreads more easily than ever. Therefore, a disciple of the Buddha needs to create positive influence, by whatever means possible. Those skilled with computers can start blogs to share good information. Those skilled in foreign languages can share good information in multiple languages. Those with no special skills can build good connections with their neighbors to plant seeds of positive interaction.

A disciple of the Buddha always aspires to create good interactions and exert positive influence on every person they meet in this lifetime.

So, let each of us be one who encourages goodness. Do not fear being disliked. Make offerings to the Buddha, love people, and dare to speak truthful words to transform those around you. Though the path may be rugged, with moral authority and compassion, each piece of advice can warm a heart and change a life.