When You See Another Person's Fault, What Mind Are You Carrying?

One day, I witnessed a young novice, while receiving offerings, picking through them to find the best portion for himself. His preceptor simply said gently: "If I take a good one, it means some brother will not get a good one. If I take a bad one, it means some brother will not have to suffer a bad one." The novice awakened at once. A gentle sentence, yet it touched the very root of greed. We find it easy to see the faults of others, but it is our attitude toward those faults that truly decides everything.

Life Is Filled with Faults

In this world, is there anyone who has grown from childhood without ever making a mistake? We ourselves have been wrong, and so have those around us. This is a truth we must face. Living is a process of correcting our faults step by step. The Buddha taught us to overcome our mistakes so that we may gradually enter the ranks of the noble ones. Teacher Chan Quang reminded us:

If we, like our brothers and sisters, cannot overcome our faults, or if our faults are overcome far too slowly, it means the Buddha's teachings (Dharma) are in decline.

Therefore, correcting our faults is not merely a personal matter. It affects the entire Dharma and the whole world.

Three Attitudes When Seeing the Faults of Others

When we see another person make a mistake, we can choose one of three ways:

Criticizing: attacking and broadcasting that person's fault.

Ignoring: not caring, not helping.

Loving and helping: gently advising and explaining so that the person can correct the fault.

These three attitudes arise from very different states of mind and heart.

Criticizing: A Secret Psychology of Winning and Losing

Criticizing means attacking harshly and spreading someone's fault for everyone to know. Why do people so often criticize? Because of a very secret psychology: we always want to be better than others. Instead of trying to surpass others through the merit of practice, we wait for others to make mistakes so that we may be superior. When someone makes a mistake and we do not, we feel we are better. That is the arrogance of ego.

Teacher Chan Quang said:

We always want to be better than others. That is the secret psychology.

A practitioner who criticizes others has very little compassion and a heavy clinging to self. Instead of striving to chant sutras, sit in meditation, and offer service in order to surpass others, we go sneaking around waiting for others to stumble. This is very dangerous, because it wounds others, causes outsiders to lose their faith, and allows our own arrogant mind to control us.

Ignoring: The Sin of Indifference

Another attitude is ignoring. When we see a brother or sister make a mistake, we do not attack, but we do not help either. We say, "Let it be, it has nothing to do with me." Teacher Chan Quang warned that ignoring allows the seeds of fault to grow. A small fault, such as leaving the temple gate without permission, if not corrected, will become a habit of deceiving one's elders, disrespecting discipline, and eventually abandoning the path.

There is a story of a murderer whose mother praised him when he stole a lighter from a neighbor. From a small fault that was tolerated, he became a criminal. Ignoring is unknowingly nourishing evil.

Loving: The Path of the Practitioner

The most correct attitude is to love and to help. When we see a brother or sister make a mistake, we feel deep sorrow because we know the karmic consequences that person will have to bear. We do not broadcast that fault to everyone, for fear of damaging the person's dignity. We find ways to advise and explain with love. Teacher Chan Quang said:

Among these three, we must absolutely avoid criticizing, and we must also avoid ignoring. We should only seek the middle way of helping one another overcome faults with love.

This is very difficult, because it demands compassion and wisdom. But it is the path of the practitioner. When we see the fault of another, let us ask ourselves: where is my mind right now? If we feel glad when someone makes a mistake, we should know we are being selfish. If we feel it is fine to ignore it, we should know we lack responsibility. Only when we want to help someone correct their fault without causing harm are we acting rightly.

Great Dreams and Small Steps

We practice because we have dreams and ideals. We want all humanity to love one another; we want the Dharma to spread everywhere. Teacher Chan Quang said:

Dreaming costs nothing. If I dream ten dreams, I may only accomplish one.

His meaning is this: dream greatly, but begin with small steps. Correct your own faults, help your brothers and sisters correct theirs, and live ethically in concrete ways. Do not take small faults lightly. A little selfishness, a little disobedience, can be the beginning of a great collapse. Be awake in every thought and every action.

Look at the faults of others with a compassionate heart, as if looking at yourself. Everyone is on the path of practice, and everyone still has many faults. As long as we help one another correct our mistakes with love, without criticizing and without ignoring, the Buddha's teachings will flourish and the world will become more beautiful. Every small step we take today, whether sweeping the courtyard, stacking firewood, or yielding to a brother or sister, is a step on the path toward enlightenment. Do not look down on it. Begin with your own mind and heart.