Discipline in Buddhism: When Laxity Is Replaced by Dharma Friendship

Two sorrowful stories shared by Venerable Thich Chan Quang reveal a vital lesson. Buddhism cannot afford to be loose or disorganized; it requires discipline and deep connection among fellow practitioners. Finding our dharma friends is, in essence, finding ourselves.

Consider a devoted female lay Buddhist who wholeheartedly trusted her close friend with Buddhist books. Her friend was an intellectual who believed only in science. Yet, after reading the book "Karma and Its Results," he began to admire the Buddha's teachings. One day, she invited him to visit a temple. He entered and saw empty shelves where books used to be, and lecture tapes that had vanished. A nun stood there, stammering, unable to explain clearly. As he stepped out, he said sadly, "Perhaps the beauty of Buddhism exists only in books."

This statement left the lay Buddhist stunned, and Venerable Thich Chan Quang felt a sharp pain in his heart. Why? Because those who represent the Buddha's teachings, those wearing the shaved head and square robes, caused someone hungry for truth to turn away. Has Buddhism failed in applying its principles to daily life? Today, the teacher opens his heart to share two sorrows, inviting us to reflect and find ways to renew the practice.

Sorrow from Broken Lives

The first sad story happened in a poor neighborhood. A family took refuge in the Three Jewels at the temple, but the husband became negligent and abandoned his wife and children. The entire family had taken refuge, yet they fell apart because they had not visited the temple for a long time. Teacher and student did not meet, and wise counsel did not reach them in time. The teacher felt sadness and self-reproach, asking why their Buddhism had become so lax.

The second sorrow belongs to a lay Buddhist living in America. She enthusiastically gave books to her friend, but due to one instance of disunity within a temple, the friend criticized the entire religion. The teacher expressed deep regret, noting that among practitioners, between temples, and across different schools, there truly lacks the spirit of mutual support, unity, and love that the Buddha taught.

Buddhism has placed too much emphasis on self-awakening. However, absolute self-awakening can easily turn into permissiveness. If people want to follow, they follow; if not, they do not. They are not forced, but neither are they reminded to guard themselves. Consequently, it becomes easy to fall into error, and faith gradually fades.

Causes of Laxity

Venerable Thich Chan Quang identified several reasons why Buddhism lost its discipline. First, disciples often live far from their root teachers. With few meetings, there is no close guidance or reminder. Who would warn themselves against evil when just meeting a dharma friend? No one does. Therefore, living alone amidst the world, people easily lose their direction.

Second, the Sangha organization lacks the strength to embrace all temples. Each temple survives on its own, managing its own affairs, while the central body acts merely as administrative paperwork. Third, within individual temples, teachers may not fully devote themselves to their students, and students seek separate sources for making offerings. This fragments the teacher-student relationship. Fourth, different schools worship different patriarchs, practice differently, and sometimes even divide against each other. All these factors make Buddhism loose and lacking in proper order.

Solution: Finding Fellow Practitioners Again

The teacher proposes a simple yet profoundly effective solution: gather into local practice groups. Those who have taken refuge at the same temple and share similar views on doctrine should seek each other out, connect, and meet regularly. Why? Because there is a saying: "A meal needs soup; spiritual practice needs companions."

When we have dharma friends, we gain strength to refuse what is unwholesome. If you discussed the teachings with your friend yesterday, and today someone invites you to drink alcohol, you will remember the wisdom and stop yourself. Without friends, it is easy to stumble. Therefore, let us find those brothers and sisters who have drifted away. Use the temple lists, knock on doors, and invite them back to the path.

Practice Means Seeing Our Own Faults

In every gathering, discuss a topic related to the Dharma. But according to the teacher, the most important thing is analyzing our own faults. For true practice means seeing one’s own errors. The Sixth Patriarch once taught: "My awareness constantly sees the faults within my own mind."

When we sincerely admit our mistakes, others will love us more, not despise us. This is how we build intimate friendship. A soulmate is not someone who only praises us, but someone who knows our weaknesses yet still loves and helps us overcome them. In a practice group, we become soulmates to each other, supporting one another spiritually. This is the most precious gift in life.

Boundless Merit of Harmony

The teacher recalls the Buddha’s teaching on the merit of harmony: "Merit that helps people unite leads to blessings born in heavenly realms, while the sin of causing division leads to hell."

Those who seek out lost dharma friends, bring them back to the path, prevent them from doing harm, and inspire them to live virtuously, sow blessings not just for this life but for many future lives. This merit surpasses giving food in charity, for it saves souls at their very roots.

Conclusion: Start Today

As the new year arrives, each of us can become a sower of harmony. Open your heart to find dharma friends who have strayed. Invite them to sit together, share a story, or listen to a teaching. Form small groups, listen to recordings, and discuss verses. Do not let Buddhism remain beautiful only on paper. Let it manifest through our unity, love, and discipline. Begin today, so that teachers rejoice, the Buddha is pleased, and our hearts are warmed.