The Trap of New Practitioners: Despising Sexuality Is Also an Extremism

There is a story about a monk in the western region of Vietnam who, for seven or eight years, avoided and drove away every woman who came near him. He acted fiercely, filled with fear and contempt for women. Then, after seven or eight years in retreat, he walked out with a woman. That story makes us pause and reflect: could we be keeping the precepts in the wrong way?

Extremism in Keeping the Precepts: The Trap of New Practitioners

When we begin practicing, we often hear that sensual desire is evil and repulsive, and that it must be abandoned in order to attain pure virtue. But if we are too eager in seeking purity, we easily fall into a state of condemning, despising, and criticizing sensual desire — and that itself is another form of extremism.

"The person who, upon hearing about sexuality, pretends to find it repulsive, despises it, condemns and criticizes it — that person will sooner or later fall, because they have already entered a new extremism."

It is like someone learning to drive: when the car drifts to the left, they jerk the wheel hard so the car swerves to the right, then jerk it back again, swerving back and forth. An experienced driver is different: when the car tilts slightly, they gently adjust the wheel to bring it back on course. Practitioners are the same — we need depth and skillfulness, not a harsh and aggressive attitude.

Contemplation of Impurity: Right Method or Trap?

To eliminate sensual desire, the scriptures often mention the contemplation of impurity — reflecting on the body as filthy in order to become weary of it. But Master Chân Quang warns that this method can backfire. First, modern science will prove that the human body is actually quite clean, leaving us embarrassed if we insist too rigidly. Second, when practicing the contemplation of impurity, we still carry an attitude of criticism and contempt — and it is precisely that state of mind that creates karma.

"Within the theory of impurity there lies an implication of criticism. For example, if I say, 'When I look at her, her body is so filthy,' it still carries criticism, doesn't it? And it is precisely this criticism that becomes karma."

Therefore, the contemplation of impurity must come after awakened awareness. Only when the mind is unmoved in the presence of beauty can that contemplation arise as a reinforcement of mindfulness. But if the mind is still infatuated, then even thinking of impurity will bring no result.

Knowing the Causes to Adjust Gently

Sensual desire arises not only from instinct, but also from seeds planted in the mind long ago. The Master teaches that there are four kinds of mental states that create karma of sensual desire: arrogance, criticizing others, slandering the noble ones, and boasting. Over time, these mental states stimulate the pleasure center in the brain, driving us with desire even in our dreams.

"If we do not know this, then when we create karma and sensual desire later arises, we will not know how to treat it. First is the mind of arrogance, second is the mind of criticizing others, third is slandering the noble ones, and fourth is boasting. These states of mind, over time, stimulate the pleasure center in the brain and give rise to sexual desire."

Therefore, when keeping the precepts, do not place so much importance on restraining desire that you treat yourself harshly. Clearly recognize whether the cause is karma, physiology, or illness, so you can adjust in the appropriate way. What matters is that the mind is awakened, so that we can see everything with lightness and without creating further karma.

Transforming the Karma of Attachment: Do Not Run Away — Transform It

Attachment is the first stage of sexuality. When we meet someone we feel drawn to, it may be karma and conditions (dependent origination) from many lifetimes. What is karma cannot be escaped. But it can be transformed.

"What is karma cannot be escaped. It can only be transformed, never escaped. One must face it, accept it, and transform it."

How can it be transformed? First, we must hold firmly to the spiritual ideal of practice. Only someone who enters the path with a sincere and devoted heart, and who has merit cultivated over many lifetimes, has the strength to transform karma. As the Master says, when we meet again someone who was our spouse in a past life, we will naturally feel affection for them. But if we hold firm to our ideal, we can use reason, meditative concentration, and diligent practice to touch and inspire them, guiding them to practice alongside us, rather than falling into the cycle of attachment.

A person without an ideal falls the moment they are tested. But one whose body and mind are devoted to the path, with strong faith, can stand firm and transform even the most difficult karmic conditions.

Look Inward, Do Not Judge

Do not rush to condemn your own instincts, for condemning them is condemning this entire world. Rather than hating and fighting fiercely, adjust gently. A true keeper of the precepts is not someone who constantly despises sexuality, but someone with a deep and settled mind who regards it lightly and is not shaken by it. As the Master concludes:

"When we see someone who is deep and settled and able to keep the precepts, we notice that regarding sexuality they take it lightly, it is not important to them, they rarely have a harsh attitude — then we know this person can truly keep the precepts."

So each day of practice, let us return to mindfulness, hold firm to our ideals, and step by step transform the seeds of karma in the mind. When our mind no longer clings and no longer despises, the precepts are kept naturally and lightly, like a bird soaring in the open sky, unburdened and free.