Insulted by Others? The Buddha Teaches: Do Not Cherish That Thought

From the story of a bhikkhu and a verse from the Dhammapada, Venerable Thich Chan Quang teaches about three levels of mind when facing insults and how to transform resentment into peace.

One day, you are walking down the street when a motorcyclist splashes water onto your clothes. Perhaps they did it unintentionally, but you become angry. You remember that image vividly, even wishing to find that person for revenge. Please pause for a moment. What is that feeling? It is resentment. In the Dhammapada Sutra, the Buddha has a famous verse regarding this matter. And the story of the bhikkhu we are about to share will help you see yourself more clearly.

## The Story of the Bhikkhu Whose Head Was Stepped On

The Buddha had a younger brother named Tissa. He ordained when he was over fifty years old. However, because he was the Buddha’s brother, he carried some pride and often bullied other bhikkhus. One time, other bhikkhus returned from a distant place. Seeing Tissa sitting in the highest seat, they assumed he was an elder monk and approached him with respectful prostrations. When they learned he had only recently ordained, they gently reminded him of proper conduct. Tissa became furious and ran to complain to the Buddha, saying, “They scolded me, they cursed me, causing me suffering!” The Buddha replied, “That is correct. You were at fault; you must apologize.” But Tissa refused. He continued to hold onto resentment.

The Buddha then told him about a past life. Long ago, Tissa was an ascetic named Devala. While traveling on a path, he accidentally had another ascetic step on his head and neck in the darkness. Instead of forgiving, Devala used this incident as an excuse to cause trouble, complaining throughout the night. The Buddha concluded, “Even then, the bad habit had not been abandoned.”

## The Verse on Resentment

“He insulted me, struck me, defeated me, robbed me. For those who cherish such thoughts, hatred never ceases. He insulted me, struck me, defeated me, robbed me. For those who do not cherish such thoughts, hatred naturally subsides.”

This verse points out two paths: either cherish the thought “he harmed me” and keep resentment alive, or do not cherish that thought and attain liberation. This is the fundamental lesson on how to behave when insulted by others.

## Three Levels of Mind When Insulted

Venerable Thich Chan Quang analyzes that there are three levels of mind. “The first level is very low: when others harm us, we remember, we condemn them, and we harbor resentment.” For example, if someone makes you stand outside during a memorial ceremony, you might remember it until old age and look for an opportunity for revenge. “The second level is where we forget. We let go, stop thinking about it, stop remembering it, and the resentment disappears.” This is the level most Buddhist practitioners can achieve. “The third level involves recalling the insult intentionally. Why? To examine it through dharma principles, to find the root of the problem, and to completely cut it off for future lives.” Such a person possesses wisdom and strength, capable of being a teacher to others.

## Why Is Forgetting So Difficult?

Venerable Chan Quang explains: “When our mind is shaken, it remembers for a long time. When we recall the insult, our mind is shaken again. This cycle repeats, amplifying the negativity. Medicine calls this a vicious cycle.” Imagine someone calling you “stupid like a dog” in front of many people. You are immediately shaken. That emotion causes you to remember it forever. And the more you remember, the angrier you become. It turns out that “forgetting” also requires skill.

## The Secret: Become Like an Immovable Rock

Venerable Thich Chan Quang offers a vivid image: “If we are something large, heavy, and big, things that touch us do not shake us. But if we are small like a mango, a thrown stone will shatter us.” So, how do we expand our soul? The teacher points out two principles:

“First, always see yourself as small. Second, love everyone, love all sentient beings.”

When we are humble like earth, like dust, and when we practice compassion toward all creatures, our soul naturally becomes vast. At that moment, gossip and insults become insignificant, no longer able to shake us.

## Practice for a Pure New Year

Do not let resentment creep into your soul. Before the threshold of the new year, ask yourself: Is there anyone still troubling my heart? Are there any old matters still making me irritated? Practice forgetting instantly, right when you receive an insult. As the Buddha taught, if you do not cherish the thought “he harmed me,” hatred will naturally subside. This is not weakness, but the strength of a great soul.

Learn to make your mirror broader. Each time you are insulted, instead of holding onto resentment, remember the Buddha’s words: “If you do not cherish that thought, hatred will naturally subside.” This is one of the eternal laws that anyone seeking peace should practice.