The Heart Does Not Age

The late afternoon sun filtered through the stained glass windows of the church, casting a pale yellow glow over the quiet space. In that small room, a woman in her fifties sat facing a young man who was only twenty-three or twenty-four years old. The distance between them was not merely decades of life, but also an invisible wall formed by religious vows and social prejudice.

She looked into his clear eyes, her voice trembling yet resolute as she broke the suffocating silence. She said, "I know I am old. But please listen to me, my heart does not age." These words rang out like a warning bell, so sincere that they startled the listener. The young man, looking confused and hesitant, lowered his head. He rejected her, not because he lacked emotion, but because he understood the fragile boundary between worldly affection and sacred mission. Yet, her confession became a valuable lesson about human nature.

This incident recalls another story, equally poignant, from everyday life. There was a young woman who was beautiful, intelligent, and had a stable job. However, inside her lay a deep abyss of loneliness. She had never tasted romantic love, had never been fully cherished, and could not offer such feelings to anyone else.

Once, when they met, a teacher advised her: "Find peace by caring for others and loving everyone; you will then see joy." But the young woman shook her head, her eyes filled with sadness. She rejected this noble ideal because she had grown up in a materialistic environment, believing neither in religion nor in cause and effect (karmic law). Even when the teacher gave her books on karmic law to read, she remained doubtful and unable to accept the teachings.

Her suffering did not stem from a lack of material things, but from a burning desire for connection. This is an expression of the instinct for enjoyment, the second instinct in humans, which drives us to seek happiness through love. When this instinct is suppressed or unfulfilled, it creates a terrifying emptiness, sometimes pushing people to the brink of despair, even wishing to give up their lives.

Returning to the story of the older woman and the priest, we see more clearly the formidable power of craving. It does not discriminate based on age, status, or circumstance. Hormones within the human body, whether testosterone in men or estrogen in women, flow silently through the blood, urging the mind/heart toward one another. They operate persistently from puberty until the day of death. Therefore, reason, which resides in the shallow layer of consciousness, always loses to emotion, which hides deep within the subconscious and instincts.

Many people wonder why tragic, irrational loves occur despite honor and future prospects. Why would a girl fall deeply in love with a vagrant who has no profession and no future? When parents press her, asking, "What good qualities do you see in him?" she can only reply, "None. Do you see a future for him? No. But I do not know why, I just love him." That is the moment when emotion overwhelms reason, when the survival instinct, the first instinct, is threatened by the instinct for enjoyment, the second instinct. Sometimes, out of love, people are willing to jump off bridges, accepting death to escape pain, proving that love can compete fiercely with the very instinct to preserve life.

The Meaning of the Story

The stories of the older woman and the lonely young girl illustrate the terrible power of craving and the instinct for love. Love is not merely a romantic emotion but a profound instinct, governed by hormones and past karma. It is stronger than reason, indifferent to age, and can lead to extreme actions if left unchecked. For monastics, understanding the origin and strength of these forces is the first step toward prevention and resolution. This understanding helps protect moral conduct and guides practitioners toward liberation from samsara (cycle of rebirth), escaping the suffering caused by selfishness and karmic obstacles.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Most Venerable Thich Chan Quang