The Sacred Call and the Lesson of Deep Love

The chill of year-end days blankets every road, yet in the hearts of millions turning toward home, a warm flame burns brightly. This is the sacred call of reunion and family devotion. Crowds move through trains and buses, weary and burdened with heavy luggage, yet their eyes shine with eager anticipation to see parents and siblings again. Even if that home is small and poor, it holds two most precious things: those who love us, and those we can love in return.

However, not everyone chooses to return to bloodline roots. Some seek temples at the sacred moment of New Year’s Eve, sitting beneath the solemn Buddha statue. They place their deepest devotion in the Triple Gem. The teacher explains this as a profound law of cause and effect (karmic law). Just as a filial child visits parents despite a busy year, planting seeds of piety so they will not be lonely in old age, Buddhist devotees who place their devotion in the Triple Gem also find companionship. In their later years, they gather in the Dharma, supported by fellow practitioners, living peacefully within the light of the Buddha's teachings (Dharma).

Yet, the story does not stop at choosing where to place our affection. The teacher guides us deeper into the nature of love, which is often complex and easily misunderstood. Why do many relationships begin with passion but end in suffering? Why do children, indulged without limit, become spoiled?

Consider the familiar Western image of a romantic proposal. A man kneels on one leg, opens a ring box, and speaks vows of eternal love. The woman, moved, accepts. Yet, divorce rates remain high in the West. Where lies the reason? It lies in that very act of kneeling. When we indulge too much, we inadvertently elevate the other person’s ego to the clouds. As the ego grows, their temperament becomes unstable—angry today, resentful tomorrow, unpredictable. The loved one becomes a victim of that love itself, losing the ability to be independent and cultivate themselves.

In contrast, look to great parents or wise leaders. Deep love is not about giving money, gifts, or satisfying every material need for immediate happiness. That is shallow love; it depletes the blessings from merit of the recipient and fosters dependency.

A wealthy businessman once shared his anxiety with the teacher. He said, "I worked hard to leave an inheritance for my son. But will he keep it, or lose it all in gambling?" He realized that leaving only wealth, without ethics, knowledge, and resilience, was a way to destroy his son’s future. A father who loves deeply does not indulge, but teaches his child to serve, to share, and to reduce selfishness.

The teacher offers a practical example of wise love: bringing loved ones to the temple not for enjoyment, but for service. Ask them to carry rice bowls for others or clean the grounds. In these humble tasks, the proud ego gradually dissolves, replaced by the joy of contribution. This is how love helps increase merit and eradicate the ego.

This principle applies broadly to national leaders as well. If leaders focus only on infrastructure and material comforts to make citizens happy while neglecting moral education, it is shallow love for the people. The result is rising public debt and national weakness. Conversely, a leader who loves the people deeply focuses on raising intellectual standards and cultivating ethics, enabling citizens to be self-reliant and develop sustainably across generations.

The Meaning of the Story

This dharma talk highlights the difference between shallow love and deep love. Shallow love manifests through words, physical touch, and material goods, often nurturing the ego, making the recipient dependent, spoiled, and quickly depleting their blessings from merit. Deep love is wisdom-filled compassion. It restrains impulsive emotions and focuses on educating and guiding loved ones—children, spouses, communities—to serve, reduce the ego, and grow in virtue. True happiness does not come from temporary material satisfaction, but from inner peace and unconditional yet principled love. This approach helps both the giver and the receiver progress together on the path to enlightenment.

Compiled from the dharma talk of Venerable Thich Chan Quang