The Love of Three Lifetimes

Morning sunlight filtered through the leaves, casting shimmering patches on the dirt path leading into the village. A young bhikkhu walked with his yellow robe draped over his shoulders and his alms bowl in hand. His steps were light, but his mind was restless. For several days now, every time he passed a small house surrounded by a vibrant red hibiscus fence, his heart beat faster.

This began one month prior. During his alms round, he stopped at that house and met a young woman with deep black eyes and a gentle smile. She respectfully offered him rice, then suddenly spoke up. "Venerable sir, from now on, you need not wander everywhere for alms. Please come directly to my home. Whatever you need, I will make offerings."

That invitation felt like a warm ray of sunshine in the middle of winter. The young bhikkhu thought, "Going door to door is truly exhausting. If I only go to one place, it saves time, and there will be good food and sweet words." From that day on, he separated from his group and visited the girl’s house daily. She served meals and poured water, and the two sat talking intimately for hours on end. As fire near straw eventually burns, and fire near gasoline eventually explodes, what was destined to happen did happen.

In the following days, fellow practitioners noticed something different about him. When sitting in meditation, his mind wandered; when listening to the dharma talk, his eyes were dull, and his spirit seemed lost. One day, a close brother asked, "Brother, why do you seem so hollow lately?"

The young bhikkhu sighed, gazing into the distance. "To be honest, whenever I return to the monastery, my mind keeps remembering that female donor. I do not know how to break free from this attachment."

Hearing this, the fellow practitioners were alarmed and rushed to inform his preceptor, the teacher who had ordained him. The preceptor investigated the situation and led his disciple to meet the Buddha. The young bhikkhu bowed his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. "World-Honored One, I know this is wrong, but my heart remains entangled. Please guide me."

The Buddha looked at him with compassionate eyes and spoke slowly. "My child, the woman you are attached to was your wife in a previous life. But she was a betraying wife."

He then recounted the story. "Long ago, you were an exceptional archer, famous throughout the land. You had a beautiful wife—this very woman. One day, a band of rebels caused chaos, and the king sent you to capture them. You entered their lair and shot them down one by one. However, when facing the final leader, you ran out of arrows. You had to use martial arts to capture him alive. In the struggle, you called to your wife: 'Give me the sword!' But as she approached and saw the robber—with his fierce yet sad eyes, rugged beard, and muscular body—she instantly fell in love with him. Instead of handing the sword to you, she gave it to the robber. He seized it and stabbed you dead on the spot. Afterwards, he robbed her of all her gold and silver and left her alone by the riverbank, having lost everything, filled with late regret."

The Buddha paused, looking directly into the young bhikkhu’s eyes. "Do you see? The affection you feel now is merely a repetition of a brief emotional episode from long ago. It is not true love, but a karmic bond of enmity. She betrayed you in a blink of an eye. Now that you have met again, past conditions drive this connection, but its nature remains fragile and unreal."

Upon hearing this, the young bhikkhu shuddered, as if waking from a dream. He bowed deeply to the Buddha, feeling an unusual lightness in his heart. From that day on, he no longer visited the girl’s house. He devoted himself to practice, meditative concentration, and listening to the Dharma, gradually finding peace in body and mind.

Knowing the right moment had arrived, the Buddha recited a verse: "Impure thoughts cause disturbance; pleasures cause intoxication. The strong cord of craving tightens the more it binds. Those with inner tranquility, observing impurity with mindfulness, loosen the cord of craving and escape the bondage of afflictions."

The young bhikkhu remembered the Buddha’s teachings for the rest of his life. Later, he practiced diligently, attained the fruit of Arhatship, and freed himself from all bonds of sensual desire.

The Meaning of the Story

This story reminds us that romantic attachment is often a reenactment of karmic connections from many lifetimes, which are fragile and unreliable. The Buddha taught: until one attains Arhatship, do not trust your own mind. This is because feelings of love and hate arise due to the power of karma, not truth. Practitioners must be vigilant against material wealth and physical beauty, for these are the most dangerous traps on the path to liberation. Only through inner tranquility and contemplating impurity can one cut the cord of craving and escape the bondage of afflictions.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Venerable Thich Chan Quang