Praise and the Trap of Pride

In a remote countryside village, where the people still held firmly to superstition, whenever the weather turned, instead of going to the medical clinic, they would gather under the trees or along the riverbank to make offerings and bow in worship, begging the spirits to cure their illnesses. Many people lost their lives needlessly because of these unscientific practices.

Doctor Minh, a young man of great skill, was assigned to work there. From his very first days, he devoted himself to treating many severe cases, bringing patients back from the brink of death. Word of Doctor Minh's talent spread throughout the village. More and more people began seeking him out, and with them came a growing stream of praise.

"Doctor Minh is so gifted!" "Thanks to the doctor, my mother recovered." "He is the benefactor of the whole village."

By ordinary standards, a humble person would feel embarrassed, refuse the praise, and say, "I was only doing my duty. Please, no more praise." But Doctor Minh thought differently. He took no pleasure in having his ego stroked; instead, he saw an opportunity. He actively asked the villagers to publish these words of praise in the local paper and to spread them widely by word of mouth.

A colleague asked in wonder:

"Minh, why do you enjoy being praised so much? Aren't you afraid of becoming arrogant?"

Doctor Minh smiled, his eyes bright with determination:

"It is not that I enjoy praise for my own sake. I need those words of praise so that people will come to know me. When they trust in my ability, they will abandon their habit of blindly making offerings and praying to spirits, and instead come to me for proper treatment. The ultimate purpose is to save more lives, not to gratify my ego."

In another corner of life, the story of Vinh, a husband who loved his wife intensely, painted a picture in the opposite direction. Vinh regarded his wife as his everything, revering her every step, every strand of her hair. Each day he spoke sweet, romantic words, making her the center of his universe.

At first, his wife was very happy. But gradually, because that excessive love was not accompanied by an equal cultivation of virtue, her mind began to distort. She became proud, demanding, and quick to anger. From a gentle woman, she turned into a fierce shrew, nagging and scolding her husband and children day and night. Vinh painfully realized that it was his own blind favoritism that had ruined his wife.

Venerable Thích Chân Quang used these two examples as a contrast. Doctor Minh received praise with a selfless mind, and so the praise became a wholesome instrument. Vinh poured out love without the balancing foundation of virtue, and so the one who received it was "poisoned" by favoritism, leading to her downfall.

The lesson is this: when we are loved and praised, we must ask ourselves, "Do I have enough virtue to receive this?" If not, we should practice more, sit longer in meditative concentration, and let the mind rest in letting go, so that the ego does not swell and we do not fall into illusions about ourselves. Love and praise are a double-edged sword; without wisdom and virtue as its handle, it will cut away our own peace.

The Meaning of the Story

The story emphasizes the importance of the mind and heart in how we respond to praise and love. Praise or affection is not in itself good or bad; its value depends on the motivation and virtue of the one who receives it. When received with a selfless mind, as the doctor did, it becomes a means of benefit for the many. When received with a mind lacking cultivation and humility, like the wife who was doted on excessively, it leads to arrogance, a distorted personality, and suffering (dukkha). Therefore, when we are favored, we need to strengthen our practice in order to keep the mind in balance, neither proud nor presumptuous.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Venerable Thích Chân Quang