The Crying Child and the Lesson for Parents

On a scorching afternoon, in a small house beside an alley, a three-year-old child fell lightly and began to wail. The mother rushed to pick him up, soothing him gently. She said, "Hush now, my dear. I am holding you. It does not hurt."

As the child cried, he struck the table. His mother immediately hit the table on his behalf, saying, "This table hurt you. Mama has punished it for you." Thus, the child learned that crying brings comfort and retribution. He grew up arrogant and rude, disliked by everyone outside his home.

In the neighboring house, a different father watched his child cry with arms folded. The child wept until his mouth was tired and tears streamed down his cheeks. The father spoke sternly, "Go ahead and cry. Cry until you feel better, but know that crying will achieve nothing."

Eventually exhausted, the child stopped crying and murmured to himself, "Crying is useless. I must be good to receive praise." The father nodded. In time, his child learned obedience and humility. The father understood that indulging a child’s every whim harms them; one must sometimes use tough love and discipline to help them become a decent person.

The Meaning of the Story

Parents who truly love their children must sometimes employ tough love. Do not indulge tantrums or crying fits. Allow your children to experience difficulties so they may mature in willpower and ethics. This prevents them from being spoiled and ruined by excessive pampering.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Most Venerable Thich Chan Quang