The First Feeling

On a misty morning in the park, dew still clung to the grass. Birds sang sweetly while elderly practitioners performed gentle exercises and young people jogged around the lake. Among them was a man over fifty, slightly thin but moving with unusual agility. He wore gray sportswear and held a water bottle, yet his eyes did not look at the path ahead. Instead, they kept glancing toward a stone bench beneath an old tree.

There sat a woman also exercising. She wore a white t-shirt and black pants, her hair tied high, moving with grace and lightness. The man watched her, and a strange feeling rose within him. It was not intense passion, but rather a soft comfort, like a cool breeze blowing through his soul. His heart beat faster, and a smile formed unconsciously on his lips.

This man was named Minh, fifty-five years old. He had a wife and children, a stable family life, and a settled career. But since meeting this stranger in the park, everything began to change. He felt rejuvenated, as if filled with new energy. Every morning, before five o’clock, he woke up, hurried out of bed, washed quickly, and rushed to the park. His wife rejoiced, telling neighbors that her husband had become diligent about health, hoping for a long and healthy life.

But the truth was different. Each morning, Minh sought ways to stand near the woman, watching her exercise and occasionally starting conversations. She responded politely with casual remarks, but for him, these moments were pure happiness. This floating sensation grew stronger day by day until one morning, Minh could no longer control himself.

After their exercise session, he invited the woman for coffee. She hesitated briefly before agreeing. They sat in a small café near the park, talking about life, work, and trivial matters. Minh felt twenty again. The sensation was sweet and soothing, yet deeply dangerous.

Then one day, the woman revealed she was pregnant. Minh froze, his face turning pale. He did not know what to do. Chaos erupted in his mind: What if my wife finds out? What will my children think? What have I done?

He stopped going to the park. Every morning, he lay in bed pretending to sleep, but his heart ached sharply. His wife noticed the change and asked why he had abandoned his routine. Minh stammered, claiming fatigue and promising to return another day.

Eventually, the truth emerged. One day, his wife happened to meet the woman at the market, and the secret spilled out. Minh’s family was plunged into turmoil. His wife wept, his children blamed him, and he could only bow his head in belated regret.

This story appeared in the newspaper, where Venerable Thich Chan Quang read it. He commented that if Minh had recognized from the beginning that this pleasure was improper, he could have avoided disaster. Instead, he let feelings lead him, allowing them to dominate his actions, and ultimately paid the price.

For a fleeting sensation, this man lost his family happiness, his dignity, and his inner peace. All because he failed to stop and see clearly the nature of feeling.

The Meaning of the Story

Feeling is one of the most powerful forces governing human life. Without wisdom to recognize and control it, we are easily led astray, creating bad karma and causing suffering for ourselves and others. Practitioners must remain mindful, observing their feelings to distinguish between wholesome and unwholesome states. We must avoid unhealthy conditions of contact that fuel delusion.

Compiled from the dharma talk of Venerable Thich Chan Quang