The Whole Family Goes Forth

Candlelight flickered in the evening breeze, and the fragrance of agarwood incense drifted gently through the Jetavana monastery. A middle-aged man, draped in a kasaya robe, stood quietly beneath the temple eaves, gazing out at the Ganges River rushing swiftly in the light of the setting sun. This was Elder Damik, once a devout lay devotee who had known the happiness of family life. But now, his heart held only one longing: liberation.

Twenty years earlier, Damik had been a wealthy lay devotee, living in a spacious home with his gentle wife and dutiful children. He often came to the monastery to hear the Buddha teach, and his heart grew ever more steeped in the teachings. One day, after a dharma talk, he returned home with a burning resolve. He sat down beside his wife, who was sewing, and said gently:

"My dear, have you ever thought of leaving the household life? I want to go forth and ordain."

His wife, head bowed and hands moving briskly, suddenly froze. She looked up, her eyes brimming with tears:

"What are you saying? I am carrying our first child. How could you abandon me and our baby? Please, wait until the child is born, and then we will talk."

Damik looked at his wife and saw the worry in her eyes. He sighed and nodded:

"Very well, I will wait."

Time passed, and a healthy, cherubic child was born. Damik came to his wife again, his heart full of hope:

"My dear, the child is born and growing. May I go forth now?"

His wife held their child close, gentle yet firm:

"My dear, the child is still far too young. Wait until he is a little older, so he can carry on the family line and preserve the family's assets. Then you may go."

Damik looked at his wife, then at the innocent child in her arms. He knew clearly that if he kept waiting like this, he might never fulfill his aspiration in this lifetime. A deep sorrow rose within his heart, but at the same time, a resolve like iron also awakened. He said nothing more, only rose quietly and walked out the door. That night, he left home without a word of farewell.

Twenty years passed. Damik, now an elder who had attained realization, returned to his old village. Wrapped in his golden kasaya robe, he walked along the familiar dirt road. His house still stood there, but now a young man stood at the gate, looking at him with surprised eyes. It was his son, now twenty years old. The elder smiled and reached out to touch his son's head:

"You have truly grown. It is I, your father."

The young man stood stunned for a moment, then joyfully threw his arms around his father. The elder looked at his son with kind eyes:

"I have found the path of liberation. Would you like to follow me?"

The young man looked at his father, then at the house, where his mother was still quietly working. He nodded:

"I want to follow you."

The elder's aging wife, who had raised their son alone through all those years, saw her husband return serene and liberated, and saw her son wishing to ordain. Nothing bound her anymore. She too asked to leave the household life and joined the order of nuns. The whole family walked together upon the path of practice.

When the Buddha heard this story, he smiled and praised Elder Damik:

"This one is truly devoted to the Buddha's teachings (Dharma), able to guide his whole family to the Buddha's way, so that they all go forth to practice."

And he recited this verse:

"Never use unrighteous means to benefit anyone, and do not long for children or the wealth of kingdoms. Such a one walks rightly in the way of Dharma, and through wisdom, attainment is complete."

Elder Damik, having guided his whole family into the holy life, continued to live a pure monastic life, no longer entangled with worldly affairs. He had fulfilled his heart's aspiration, and he had even helped those dearest to him find the path of liberation.

The Meaning of the Story

The story of Elder Damik teaches us about steadfastness in our spiritual ideals. Once we have seen the beauty of the Buddha's teachings (Dharma), we should not allow worldly ties to delay us forever. Let us be resolute, let us overcome obstacles, and, more importantly, let us share the Buddha's teachings (Dharma) with our families, with those we love, so that they too may find liberation. That is how we express true compassion and wisdom.

Compiled from a dharma talk by the Venerable Thich Chan Quang