The Whole Family Takes Ordination

Candlelight flickered gently in the evening breeze, while the subtle scent of incense filled the small room. Elder Damika sat quietly by the window, his eyes gazing out at the empty courtyard where dry leaves rustled with each soft gust. He had lived more than thirty years in this world, yet he had never felt such profound peace within himself. For a long time, he had harbored a burning wish: to leave home for ordination, to live a pure monastic life, and to escape the bindings of the worldly existence.

When he shared this intention with his wife, the diligent woman who had stood by him through many years, she only lowered her head slightly, gently stroking her growing belly. She said softly, "My dear, I am carrying our first child. Perhaps you could wait until the baby is born before we discuss your leaving?" He looked at her, hesitated for a moment, and then nodded. He told himself that this was his duty as a husband and father. The child was born amidst family joy, the infant’s cry sounding like a new song. But when the child turned one year old, he mentioned his desire to ordain again. This time, his wife gently dissuaded him once more.

"Please wait a little longer," she urged. "Let the child grow a bit more, learn to walk and speak, and then you may go. The child is still too young; I cannot manage alone." He remained silent, but unease rose in his heart. He realized that his wife did not truly want him to leave. She kept finding ways to delay, offering reason after reason. As the child grew day by day, month by month, and year by year, when the boy reached seven or eight years old, Damika brought up the matter of ordination again. This time, his wife did not even let him finish his sentence, cutting him off sharply.

"My dear, the child still needs to go to school, to grow up to continue our family lineage and preserve our assets. Please wait some more." He understood everything now. His wife never wanted him to become a monk. She only wished for him to stay, to be the pillar of the family, to care for their children, and to build their fortune. Looking back on his life and the passing years, he saw himself bound by promises, duties, and invisible constraints. He knew that if he continued to listen to his wife, he would never fulfill his vow.

One morning, while his wife and son were still deeply asleep, he quietly packed a few belongings, opened the door, and stepped out. He spoke to no one, bid farewell to no one, and walked alone down the quiet village road toward the distant ancient temple. With each step, his heart felt lighter, as if he had set down a massive burden. Upon arriving at the temple, he requested ordination and lived a life of ascetic discipline, practicing diligently day and night without ceasing. Twenty years passed, and he became an accomplished elder, possessing clear wisdom and a pure mind.

One day, Elder Damika remembered his hometown, his wife, and his son. He knew they were still immersed in secular life, unaware of the value of liberation. He decided to return, not to reunite with his family, but to guide them onto the path of enlightenment. When he arrived home, his son had grown into a handsome twenty-year-old man. The son looked at his father with emotion-filled eyes, having heard his mother speak of his ordained father for many years. Elder Damika sat down, looked at his son, and spoke gently.

"My son, I went in search of a path, and that path has brought me peace and enlightenment. I wish for you to understand this path as well." The son listened silently, then looked up at his father, his eyes brightening with new faith. He sensed the tranquility and compassion radiating from his father. Soon after, the son asked his mother’s permission to follow his father into monastic life. The mother was initially surprised, but seeing the peace in her husband’s eyes and the determination in her son’s, her heart gradually softened. She realized that true happiness does not lie in material things, but in the serenity of the soul. She also requested ordination, joining the community of nuns.

When the Buddha heard the story of Elder Damika and his family, He praised them. He said, "This person is truly devoted to the Buddha's teachings (Dharma). He has transformed his family, leading everyone to take ordination." The Buddha then recited a verse:

"He does not use unwholesome means to benefit anyone, Nor does he crave for children, wealth, or kingdoms. He practices rightly according to the precepts and wisdom, And attains the fruit of liberation."

Elder Damika did not crave children, nor did he desire wealth. He was not bound by worldly aspirations. He decisively practiced letting go of everything to pursue the ideal of enlightenment. In the end, he achieved his goal and helped his entire family walk upon that same path.

The Meaning of the Story

The story of Elder Damika is a lesson in decisiveness and determination on the path of practice. A true disciple of the Buddha must know how to transcend worldly bindings, not being swept away by desires for children or wealth, but bravely advancing toward the goal of enlightenment. At the same time, this story reminds us of transforming our families through the Dharma, sharing the teachings with loved ones, and helping them find the path of liberation together.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Venerable Thich Chan Quang