The Secret of Guiding the Stubborn

In life, not everyone easily accepts moral advice. Some people are stubborn and arrogant, disregarding their parents and neighbors, yet they listen to only one person. A story about a young man recently released from prison serves as a typical example. Before his incarceration, he was already violent; after serving time, having learned new tricks in prison, he became even more brutal and difficult to manage. His parents’ words fell on deaf ears, neighbors avoided him, and relatives distanced themselves. He thought himself above all laws, fearing only one individual: the local police officer.

This officer did not use authority to intimidate but chose a gentle, affectionate approach. Every two or three days, he would visit the home, sit for tea, and talk like an elder brother. He analyzed softly, saying, “I am glad you have returned. Everyone makes mistakes in life, but what matters is how we rebuild ourselves. Your parents place great hope in you. Even if you failed once, your life is not over. Find an honest profession to start anew, so your parents can be proud.” It was this attitude of respect and sincerity from a figure of power that melted the hardened heart of the young man. He began to listen and change his character.

Another case was even more interesting. There was a wealthy businessman who spent lavishly. His wife’s advice went unheeded because he relied on his ability to earn money. Worried, she prayed day and night to Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva for her husband’s return to goodness. One beautiful day, while at the beach, the businessman met a young, beautiful woman with graceful movements. She initiated conversation, asking, “Where are you going? I swim today, but tomorrow I go to Tu Tan Pagoda to hear the Dharma. Will you come with me?” To please the beauty, the businessman reluctantly agreed. At the pagoda, when she asked about the content of the dharma talk, he scratched his head, unable to remember. Yet, through more than ten invitations, he gradually absorbed the teachings and changed his temperament. Once he understood the path, the woman disappeared, leaving behind a lesson in skillful guidance.

Finally, there is the story of a young man addicted to gambling and football betting, who frequently threatened and even held a knife to force his mother to give him money. His suffering mother sought help from a teacher, who advised her to chant the name of Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva. One day, while walking outside, the young man collided with a heavily tattooed man who looked like a gangster. This man shouted, forcing the youth to kneel. Upon learning that the boy took money from his mother to pay gambling debts, the stranger scolded harshly, “I am a member of the underworld, unafraid of violence, but I honor my parents above all else. You are like a beast, treating your mother this way? If you do not return the money, I will break your neck.” Terrified, the young man quickly returned the money to his mother. From then on, under the covert supervision of this “hero,” he was compelled to visit the pagoda, attend meditation retreats, and gradually reform.

The Meaning of These Stories

Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva does not necessarily appear with radiant light. Instead, the bodhisattva adapts to the capacities of sentient beings, choosing the most suitable form for education. For the stubborn, gentleness from a person of authority is needed. For those lost in delusion, guidance through affection or shared interests works best. For the violent, suppression by a stronger force that still upholds morality is required. The key is for us to learn the practice of "always accommodating sentient beings." We must be flexible, not clinging to a single method, so that the Buddha's teachings (Dharma) enter people’s hearts naturally and effectively.

Compiled from the dharma talk by Most Venerable Thich Chan Quang