The Problem of Cause and Effect for a Loving Father

The late afternoon sun cast pale yellow streaks across the oak table in the living room. The steady ticking of the clock seemed to count down the time for a family standing at a fateful crossroads. Mr. Minh sat there, holding a cup of tea that had long gone cold, his eyes red-rimmed as he looked at his only son, Tuan, who lay sprawled on the sofa with a brightly glowing phone. Tuan had just demanded money for a trip to Singapore to "relieve stress" after his graduation exams, despite his mediocre grades.

Tuan’s childhood was defined by excessive protection. From a young age, whenever Mr. Minh earned a bonus or sold an old plot of land, instead of saving or investing, he immediately thought of "rewarding" his son. "If you study well, Dad will reward you; if you are sad, Dad will give you money to go out," was his constant refrain over the past ten years. He believed that love was shown by meeting every material need, ensuring his child would not suffer the hardships he himself had endured.

But today, looking at Tuan’s weary, lifeless face and hearing his complaints about being unable to find a suitable job despite average qualifications, Mr. Minh felt an invisible fear creep into his heart. He recalled the teachings of a monk he had once met:

"Loving your child without considering cause and effect is like pouring water into a leaking vessel. The more you pour, the faster it empties. If your child’s blessings from merit are spent entirely in youth, they will collapse when facing the storms of adult life."

Mr. Minh began to reflect deeply. He realized that every lavish trip and every designer item Tuan owned represented blessings from merit that the boy should have cultivated himself through labor and filial piety, but which his father had "advanced" using his own sweat and tears. What was the result? Tuan became passive, lacked life skills, and most importantly, lost his motivation to strive. He was accustomed to "receiving," not to "giving."

Meanwhile, in another house a few kilometers away, Mr. Hung, an old friend of Mr. Minh, was talking with his daughter, Lan. Lan had just received a substantial amount of lucky money from relatives. Instead of giving it all to her for shopping, Mr. Hung smiled and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Lan, this money is your blessing from merit. But if you keep it only for yourself, that merit will soon run dry. I suggest this: use half to buy books and school supplies. For the other half, let us choose a nearby home for poor children together and donate the entire amount. When you help others feel joy, your mind/heart expands, and your wisdom grows brighter. That is the smartest way to 'spend' money."

Lan hesitated initially, her gaze drifting toward the clothing stores outside. But seeing her father’s warm smile and absolute trust, she nodded. In the days that followed, witnessing the joy of the children at the shelter receiving gifts, Lan felt a strange happiness—lighter and deeper than any designer item could provide. She began proactively asking her father about charity and the law of cause and effect (karmic law), and gradually, her character became noticeably more patient, tolerant, and diligent.

Back with Mr. Minh, he stayed awake all night. He saw a dim future for Tuan if things continued as they were. He decided to change. The next morning, when Tuan again asked for money, Mr. Minh did not shout, nor did he silently reach for his wallet. He called his son to sit down, speaking in a low but firm voice.

"Tuan, I will no longer give you money for leisure. Not because I am stingy, but because I truly love you. Every dollar I give you now consumes a part of your blessing from merit. If you enjoy it all now, what will you rely on when I am gone? From today, if you want pocket money, you must do household chores or participate in community activities. Money must come with responsibility and gratitude."

Tuan reacted fiercely, slamming his bedroom door. But Mr. Minh remained steadfast. He was no longer the "permissive" father. He began guiding his son on how to plan finances, how to save, and most importantly, how to share. It was difficult at first, but gradually, Tuan began to understand. He realized that self-worth did not lie in luxurious trips, but in independence and contribution to society.

Five years passed. Mr. Minh’s family faced a major crisis when his company went bankrupt, causing income to drop severely. Previously, the whole family might have fallen into poverty and conflict. But this time, thanks to the foundation of cause and effect (karmic law) that Mr. Minh had painstakingly built, Tuan—now grown up—proactively sought extra work and shared the burden with his parents. He was no longer the weak, selfish young man of the past. Instead, he became the spiritual pillar of the family, cherishing every penny and always ready to help others when possible.

Mr. Minh looked at his son, his heart filled with peace. He understood that the most valuable lesson was not giving everything to one’s child, but teaching them how to "create" and "preserve" blessings from merit through the law of cause and effect (karmic law). True love must be accompanied by wisdom; otherwise, it becomes a poison that destroys the future of children.

The Meaning of the Story

This story clearly illustrates the principle of "Bodhisattvas applying the law of cause and effect (karmic law) in educating sentient beings," here applied to raising children. Loving children based solely on emotion and material provision, while ignoring the law of cause and effect (karmic law), causes them to lose their blessings from merit, becoming weak and dependent. Conversely, wise parents guide their children to sow good seeds—through doing good deeds, working, and saving—to accumulate lasting blessings from merit. This is the correct way to love, helping children stand on their own feet and develop sustainably in life.

Compiled from a dharma talk by Most Venerable Thich Chan Quang