A Large Mind Before Small Offenses

**Summary:** When offended, we often hold onto anger. Venerable Thich Chan Quang guides us on how to transform this through a humble and compassionate heart, allowing our mind to become vast and hatred to naturally subside.

Have you ever had someone step on your foot in a crowd? You feel annoyed, and then you keep thinking about that person, and each time you remember, you feel another surge of irritation? That is when you are "embracing the thought" – the thought of being offended.

In a talk on the Dhammapada, Venerable Thich Chan Quang shares a very everyday story, from which he unfolds for us a profound lesson on how to face insults or minor conflicts in life.

**The Story of Tissa: The "Unjust Cousin"**

The Venerable tells of Tissa, a relative of the Buddha, who had ordained but still harbored arrogance. He would often push past other Bhikkhus to sit right in front of the Buddha. When the other Bhikkhus reminded him, he became angry and ran to complain to the Buddha: "He scolded me! He insulted me!" The Buddha told him that if he was at fault, he should apologize. But Tissa refused, clinging to the excuse that others had scolded him first.

"Just clinging to the excuse that they scolded you, so you cannot not be angry. Isn't this just like us?"

The Buddha then taught him this verse:

"They insult me, hit me, harm me, and rob me. Those who hold to such thoughts, their hatred will never subside."

And the inverse verse:

"They insult me, hit me, harm me, and rob me. Those who do not hold to such thoughts, their hatred will naturally subside."

Venerable Chan Quang reminds us: "If we stay angry, we are cousins with Tissa. Now, let's remember we are cousins with the Buddha, and not deign to be cousins with Tissa."

**Three Levels of Facing Offenses**

The Venerable analyzes three levels people typically experience when offended:

**The lower level:** Remembering the offense forever and holding onto resentment for a lifetime. For instance, someone who, when poor, was seated outside during a family feast, may still seek revenge when old.

**The moderate level:** Forgetting the offense and no longer remembering it, thanks to remembering the Buddha's teachings and believing in cause and effect (karmic law). This is the level of a practitioner, but it still requires time to gradually develop.

**The high level:** Remembering the offense, but using wisdom and dharma to investigate its roots, and severing it completely across many lifetimes. A person at this level can become a teacher to others.

He advises us to strive for the second level: to forget it instantly. Do not let a single offense live on indefinitely in the mind.

**Why Is It Hard to Forget Offenses?**

The Venerable explains the mechanism of the "vicious cycle": When offended, our mind is shaken. This shock creates an impression, making us remember the offense. The more we remember, the more the mind is shaken. This mutual reinforcement keeps increasing our anger, making it impossible to forget.

For example, a person walking down the street has their clothes splashed with dirty water by a speeding car. They feel irritated and want to find the car and beat up the driver. The more they think, the angrier they become.

To break this cycle, we must find a way to prevent the mind from being shaken. And for the mind not to be shaken, our inner spirit must be truly vast.

**The Secret to an Unshakeable Mind**

The Venerable uses an image: A sturdy temple struck by a small pebble is completely unaffected. But if a mango is hit by a pebble, it is instantly damaged. Likewise, if our mind is small, a single insult can cause us to collapse.

"If we are something large and solid, then the things others do to us do not shake us."

But how can we make our spirit large? Not through arrogance. The Venerable points out two principles:

**Practicing Humility and Compassion to Enlarge the Mind**

First is humility: Always seeing ourselves as small as a speck of dust, like a drop of water in the ocean. Those of great practice often say: "I am but a speck of dust in this life." By seeing ourselves as small, we do not harbor pride, and offenses cannot shake us.

Second is compassion: Loving all people and all beings. When walking on the road, we vow to love the little child, the bird, the tree, the fish... Even if we later eat fish stew, it is that very heart of compassion that enlarges our spirit.

"These two principles—humility and compassion—make our spirit large."

When we possess humility and compassion, unintentional words and minor conflicts no longer have the power to trouble us. We become like a large boulder amidst the stream of life; rain and wind only bring coolness, but cannot penetrate it.

**Conclusion: Prepare Your Heart for the New Year**

The old year is ending, and the new year is approaching. Let us practice the Buddha's teaching together: whenever we encounter scolding, conflict, or any offense, we pause for a second, remember the verse "They insult me, hit me..." and not hold onto the thought. Breathe deeply, smile, and let go. Hatred will naturally subside, and the mind will find peace. This is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves in the new year.