Appropriate Reactions: The Secret to Peace in Every Situation

When insulted, praised, or disliked, how should we react? Venerable Thich Chan Quang shares a lesson full of wisdom on choosing the right reaction – not out of hatred or pride – so that the mind remains peaceful and life becomes happier.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone scolds, insults, or even slanders you? Annoyement and a desire to retaliate are reactions for most of us. But Venerable Thich Chan Quang teaches: Do not rush to retaliate; choose an appropriate reaction – one with wisdom and morality – so the mind remains serene and life has fewer storms.

**Do Not Act Like Those Who Wrong You**

When someone scolds us, the first thing we think is to scold them back. But if we respond in the same way, we become as bad as they are. Thay Chan Quang shares a very familiar story:

"Do not act like those who wrong you. For example, if they steal from you, do not go to their house and steal from them in return."

If we argue back when scolded, outsiders watching will not know who is right or wrong; they will only see two people arguing. They will think badly of the temple, of Buddhism, and of those who practice. However, if we remain silent, people will see the other person grumbling alone, and they will think that person has a problem. In this way, we preserve dignity for ourselves, for Buddhism, and for the community.

**There Are Times for Firmness: That Is Justified Self-Defense**

However, silence is not always the right course. There are situations where we cannot be weak. For instance, if someone invades a temple or destroys a place of worship. Thay Chan Quang says:

"In such cases, it is not greed, hatred and delusion, but rather justified self-defense."

When facing evil that threatens, we must courageously protect ourselves and others. But the key is to clearly distinguish between greed, hatred and delusion and self-defense. Greed, hatred and delusion is retaliating out of anger, while self-defense is safeguarding safety and righteousness. One with wisdom knows when to be patient and when to be decisive.

**Praise Is Not Always to Be Avoided**

We are often taught to be humble when praised. But sometimes, accepting praise brings benefits to many people. He tells the story of a skilled doctor praised by the local community. He did not hesitate to let the praise spread, because thanks to it, people came to him for healing instead of resorting to superstitions and praying. He says:

"In some cases, letting people praise you is perfectly fine. Why? Because that praise is needed to benefit others."

The important thing is to receive praise with a heart of compassion, not out of personal pride, but for the benefit of others. When our mind is pure, praise becomes a means to help the world.

**When Disliked or Loved: Reflect on Yourself**

When disliked by others, the natural reaction is to dislike them in return. But Buddhism teaches us to look within. Thay Chan Quang advises:

"When you see that people dislike you, the first thing to do is to look for your own faults."

If you search and still find no fault, it may be due to karma from a past life. Let us accept it calmly and try to respond with love to dissolve the resentment. Conversely, when loved, we must also examine whether we have enough virtue to accept it. He teaches:

"Only those with great virtue can accept the boundless love of others without their mind becoming distorted and corrupted."

Excessive love without nurturing virtue will distort the mind. Therefore, the more we are loved, the more diligently we must practice and let go, so as not to fall into arrogance and complacency.

**With Those Who Have Not Practiced Goodness: Sow Good Conditions**

In life, meeting people who do not understand the teachings or believe in the law of cause and effect can easily lead us to feel disappointed or contemptuous. But this attitude itself is a seed of evil in our own minds. He reminds us:

"You must go to them. Form good connections and gently explain and guide them; do not abandon them."

They may not listen immediately, but every time we sow a good condition, we are nurturing our own mind. Be patient; after five years, ten years, a nightmare will turn into a good condition. Just as the saying goes: 'One person must practice as much as a thousand others.'

Life is a series of reactions. With the right reaction, we plant good seeds and reap good fruits. With the wrong reaction, we bring suffering upon ourselves. So, I ask you to start practicing today: in every word and action, choose an appropriate reaction – one with wisdom and compassion. That is the secret to having a peaceful mind amidst all the storms of life.