Human Relations: Why Does Closeness Often Lead to Distance?

**Summary:** A dharma talk by Venerable Thich Chan Quang explaining the dynamics of human relationships, from the need for community to the fear of intimacy, and how to transcend greed, hatred, and delusion to live happily.

**Different to Love Each Other**

When living together, people often tend to dislike those who are different. But the Master teaches: "We are different to support one another. Therefore, the more you see someone as different, the more you should love them." It is similar in Buddhism, where there are many different schools, yet all are like brothers and sisters, supporting each other on the path of practice.

We may be different, but we must love and support each other. That is what it means to be human, and that is the essence of the Buddha's teachings.

**Needing Yet Fearing Each Other**

People have a curious syndrome: when apart they feel longing, but when close they build walls. The Master explains: "Needing each other is a psychological and physiological need. But we fear each other because within each person lies greed, hatred, and delusion." It is these very afflictions that prevent us from opening our hearts and living closely with others.

Why do humans need each other, yet then fear each other? It is because greed, hatred, and delusion reside in every person's heart.

**Living Alone as a Challenge**

Practitioners often enter solitary retreat to practice living alone. The Master says: "If one can live alone without sadness, then when living with people, one will be very serene." This is a way to transcend fear, to realize that we can love without being attached.

If they can live alone without feeling sad, then when they live among people, they will truly cherish them without any sense of bondage.

**Opening Your Heart to Other Faiths**

Not only within Buddhism, but also with other religions, we should treat everyone with compassion. The Master advises: "Invite them into your home and share the Buddha's teachings with them. Because we are different to love each other."

Whenever you have the opportunity to meet people of other faiths, make an effort to explain the Buddha's teachings so they understand that our differences are meant for mutual love.

**Practice Starting Today**

Begin with small things: open your heart to those from other schools, offer a glass of water to someone of a different faith, and practice living alone in mindfulness. When we understand that differences exist for the sake of love, life becomes lighter and filled with greater happiness.