What Is an Elderly Person? Being Older Does Not Necessarily Mean Being Mature

Every spring, each of us grows one year older. For a young child, adding a year is a joy, because it means growing up. But for adults, adding a year often comes with worries about losing health, agility, and even one's place in society. Yet does growing older truly mean becoming old? In his dharma talk on the fourth day of the Lunar New Year at Phật Quang Temple, Thầy Thích Chân Quang posed a question that seems simple: "What is an elderly person?" His answer made many people look back at themselves.

Old and older: two different concepts

Thầy Chân Quang says that a person of advanced age is not necessarily old, and a person who is old may not yet be advanced in years. If we only look at the number of years, we can easily misjudge a person's true nature. Some people past sixty remain immature and impulsive, while some at thirty are already mature and seasoned. "Old," in Thầy's teaching, does not refer to changes in the body, but to maturity of the mind/heart, wisdom, and character.

"A person of advanced age sometimes refuses to accept being old. That is what causes trouble."

Thầy tells the story of a youthful grandmother who still goes disco dancing and paints her nails, causing her grandson to receive a low grade from his teacher for describing a grandmother who did not match the "grandmother" in his textbook. This humorous story shows that trying to hide one's age actually troubles others and conceals the natural beauty of each stage of life. So what kind of person is truly mature?

A mature person has life experience — knowing to be suspicious before any promised benefit.

Has inner strength — keeping the mind/heart calm in the face of adversity.

Does not place blind trust in their own thoughts.

Knows how to restrain emotions and avoid excess.

Easily sympathizes with and forgives the mistakes of others.

Life experience: knowing to be suspicious before any promised benefit

One sign of a mature person is not easily chasing after offers that promise great gains. Thầy gives the example of someone invited to buy a piece of land at a cheap price because the owner is in urgent need of money, with promises of returns a thousandfold. An immature person would believe it immediately and rush in without verifying anything. A mature person pauses and asks: why is such a great benefit coming to me? What is hidden behind it?

"When you hear of a benefit, stay calm, be suspicious, and think carefully about everything around it. After doubting and reflecting, quietly send someone to investigate — that is a truly mature person."

In modern life, promises of benefit appear everywhere, from financial investments to personal relationships. A mature person not only avoids the traps, but also keeps the mind/heart peaceful, undisturbed by matters of money.

Inner strength: keeping the mind/heart calm in the face of betrayal and adversity

When we are young, we easily become angry when someone betrays us or treats us badly. We want revenge, we want to complain to everyone, and we may even want to ruin that person's life. But a mature person understands that human beings are by nature flawed, and so such things are ordinary. They do not let hatred take over their mind/heart. When facing adversity, a mature person keeps a serene spirit and continues to live with joy.

"Human beings are by nature flawed. Live long enough in this world, and you will understand this deeply."

This is not a pessimistic attitude, but a truthful understanding that keeps us from expecting too much of others, and from making ourselves suffer over things beyond our control.

Not placing blind trust in one's own thoughts

A mature person learns that their thoughts and plans do not always come true. Thầy recalls Einstein's words that out of one hundred thoughts, as many as ninety-five are wrong. What did we dream of in our youth? Becoming a doctor, an engineer, meeting a prince... But in reality, we take a different job, and marry someone completely unlike the person in our dreams.

"Do not trust your own thoughts. Do not believe that everything you think will succeed."

Therefore, when making plans, a mature person always prepares for some degree of failure and always keeps a way back. They walk step by step, are grateful for each small achievement, and never blindly assume that everything will go exactly as they wish.

Restraining emotions and learning to forgive

A mature person does not display their likes and dislikes loudly. They know how to restrain their emotions: smiling calmly when winning the lottery instead of jumping for joy, and never showing contempt for others simply because they dislike them. This restraint is not pretense, but a form of courtesy, refinement, and moral integrity.

"When you dislike someone and show it openly, that is a lack of culture, and it easily breeds resentment."

Above all, a mature person easily sympathizes with and forgives the mistakes of others, because they themselves have made many mistakes. Thầy retells the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. The crowd wanted to stone the woman, but Jesus declared:

"I do not condemn you, but go and sin no more."

That is the attitude of a mature person: forgiving without being lax, understanding mistakes without letting oneself or others continue to fall.

Maturity is not a number you can count on a calendar. Every day, we have the opportunity to train ourselves to become more mature: to be suspicious before temptation, to keep the mind/heart calm in adversity, not to blindly trust our own thoughts, and to live gently and with understanding. In the joyful atmosphere of the Lunar New Year, let us ask ourselves: "Over the past year, have I grown more mature?" And starting today, let us give ourselves and our loved ones a spring of peace and meaning.