A Small Basin of Water, a Great Conflict: A Lesson from the Dhammapada

Have you ever argued with family, friends, or colleagues over a very small mistake? In the time of the Buddha, something similar happened, and the consequences left an entire monastery nearly starving. The story begins with a bathing basin.

The story begins with a small basin of water

When the Buddha was staying at the monastery in Kosambi, a dharma teacher finished bathing and left his basin tilted upward with a little leftover water inside. A vinaya master saw this, asked about it, and pointed out that it was a fault. The dharma teacher acknowledged his mistake and offered repentance. The matter should have ended there, but the vinaya master went and told his disciples. Rumors spread: "That dharma teacher made a mistake and refuses to admit it!" The Sangha split into two factions, and even lay devotees and the deities took sides.

"It was such a small thing, but simply because that person could not keep his mouth shut, it grew into something enormous."

A mouth that does not know silence

Do we often "tell stories" about the faults of others? When we see someone make a mistake, we want to share it with this person and that person. We think we are simply being fair, but in truth it is this mouth that "does not know how to stay closed" that burns up every relationship and brings us sorrow. Thầy Thích Chân Quang emphasized:

"this mouth is such a strange thing... it never knows how to stay shut."

How can we avoid this? Before speaking about anyone's fault, pause for a moment. Remember that we are not a court of law. Instead of judging, quietly wish for that person to be free of their faults. In this way, we preserve the blessings from merit and the joy in our lives.

The Buddha departs, and the hunger of stubbornness

The Buddha advised the monks to live in harmony, but they would not listen. So the Buddha left. The lay devotees, angry, stopped making offerings. The Sangha was boycotted and grew weak with hunger. At that moment, all arguments about "right and wrong" became meaningless. Only the rice in front of them remained.

"Who was right and who was wrong all vanished; only what lay before us remained—the rice."

Sometimes we are the same: so stubborn that we forget what matters more. At work, in the family, we want to be right at any cost, but then we lose affection, lose opportunities, lose warmth. If only we knew how to soften our hearts before it is too late.

Knowing death awaits, why still argue?

When the monks finally offered their repentance, the Buddha taught this profound verse:

"We contend in victory and defeat because we forget that everyone must die. If we knew death was waiting, why would we still argue?"

Simple, yet striking like lightning. Why do we keep arguing? Because we forget that death draws nearer each day. Today it may be a loved one who passes away, or we ourselves may not have a tomorrow. When we stand before impermanence (anicca), are those petty "rights and wrongs" still worth our anger? Remember this whenever the fire of anger rises: "We will all die one day—why do we still quarrel?"

Living in harmony like water mixed with milk

While the monks were quarreling, the Buddha went to visit three arahants: Kimbila, Anuruddha, and Nandiya. The three of them lived together in perfect harmony, "like water mixed with milk." None of them thought of himself; they lived with a brotherly heart. The Buddha praised them and gave a prediction that whoever recites the names of these three will find peace.

The lesson for us: learn to put yourself in another's position, always thinking of your brothers and sisters, colleagues, and friends. In the family—between husband and wife, parent and child—if everyone yields to one another and lives with a brotherly heart, harmony will come as naturally as water and milk blending together.

So, starting today, let us begin to practice. Each morning when we wake, let us quietly resolve: "Today I will not argue over meaningless things. If someone makes a mistake, may I know how to stay silent and simply wish them well." At the same time, remember that impermanence (anicca) is waiting. In just a moment, everything will pass away. Choose harmony and love, so that this life may be as light as the clouds in the sky.