Remorse – The Most Beautiful Sorrow of a Practitioner

Have you ever felt tormented by a mistake from the past? Do not rush to see that as weakness. According to Venerable Thích Chân Quang, remorse is not merely an emotion, but also a sign of a moral soul. In his dharma talk "Remorse – The Psychology of Morality," the teacher illuminated the nature of remorse and how to transform it into motivation for practice.

What is remorse? Why do we need to feel remorse?

When asked "who has never felt remorse?", teacher Chân Quang offered a surprising observation:

"Only two kinds of people have no remorse: first, the noble ones who have attained liberation and no longer make mistakes; second, those who are extremely cruel and have no idea what sin or merit means."

Ordinary people all have faults. But for many reasons, we often fail to recognize them. When we do recognize them, that sorrow is precisely remorse. Remorse must be distinguished from two other kinds of "regret":

Moral remorse: sorrow over having done wrong, a noble sorrow.

Regret over lost opportunity: regret over missing a chance to benefit oneself.

Unwholesome regret: regret over failing to harm someone, an evil mind.

Only moral remorse is the state of mind worth cultivating.

The mind of remorse – A sign of morality

Teacher Chân Quang emphasized: "The foundation of wisdom is knowing one's own faults." One who feels remorse must first be one who recognizes their own mistakes. Recognizing mistakes requires honesty with oneself, without excuses or concealment. From there, the sorrow of remorse arises. It is faith and wisdom that help us illuminate the past, comparing moral principles with our own conduct.

"The mind of remorse is a sign of morality. It is the sorrow of seeing one's own faults."

The step of transformation: "If only..." – a wholesome seed for the future

After remorse, the thought "if only I had not done that" appears. This is a wholesome seed. Although the past cannot be changed, that aspiration will help us not repeat the mistake in the future. The teacher gave the example of a monk who once secretly ate a delicious cake all by himself, then felt remorse and told himself, "If only it had not been so delicious, so that I could have shared it." It was precisely that thought that helped him live more generously.

The Buddha also had a monk who, out of attachment to his family, left behind his child, and later felt such remorse that he fell gravely ill. Through repentance and hearing the Buddha teach the Dharma, he was comforted and attained realization. Thus, remorse is not an unwholesome mind, but an opportunity to wash away our mistakes.

A noble sorrow – A story from teacher Chân Quang

The teacher recounted that in his youth, he once disliked and criticized the philosopher Krishnamurti. When he studied the Buddha's teachings (Dharma), he realized he had wrongly criticized an enlightened one. That remorse smoldered within him for half a year. Then one night, he dreamed that Krishnamurti appeared, his face bright as a full moon, looking at the teacher, smiling in forgiveness, and then vanishing. From that moment, the remorse dissolved. The teacher understood that the mind of remorse is like a stream of water washing away old transgressions.

"The sorrow of remorse is an infinitely beautiful sorrow."

Remorse is not an unwholesome mind

In Theravada Buddhism, some consider remorse to be an unwholesome mind. Teacher Chân Quang expressed surprise and disagreement. According to him, remorse over one's mistakes is a dynamic emotion, but when used in the right place, it can lead us to liberation. Just like love and compassion, when placed in the right place, they help us rise to greater heights.

A practitioner should not blindly believe in any school or tradition, but must remain clear-eyed, comparing teachings against the scriptures and against one's own mind. When remorse arises, it can brighten the mind and help us become better people.

Cherish those tears of remorse

If one day you feel tormented by some mistake, do not be too pessimistic. It is a sign of faith that you are recognizing the truth and correcting yourself. Let remorse become motivation, a wholesome seed for the future. Teacher Chân Quang himself admitted: "A lifetime of practice is a lifetime of remorse." This does not diminish its value, but shows that the soul is always turning toward goodness.