Do Not Trust Your Heart: Lessons from a Young Monk and Love from a Past Life

Venerable Thich Chan Quang delivers a teaching on Verse 75 of the Dhammapada, exploring how love and emotions are impermanent (anicca) and easily addictive. He invites us to place our trust in wisdom and mindfulness to escape the shackles of craving.

There was once a young monk who went out for alms each day. However, he began walking straight to one particular house, sitting with the daughter who made offerings, and soon forgot the way back. From a diligent practitioner, he became distracted and lost. The cause was not joy, but an attachment arising within his mind. The Buddha taught a verse to remind him that a single unwholesome thought causes disturbance, pleasure intoxicates, and the bonds of craving tighten further. This dharma talk helps us see through the nature of love and emotion so we may no longer be bound.

### Love Can Become a Type of Addiction

The Buddha taught: "Unwholesome thoughts disturb the mind; pleasures intoxicate it. The strong bond of craving tightens its grip deeper." Venerable Thich Chan Quang explains that when feelings arise, they act like an addictive drug. He states, "Love is also a type of addiction, similar to drugs, video games, or gambling."

An addict cannot simply quit; if they leave one person, they seek another because the feeling of intoxication itself has become a need. When the mind is caught in attachment, reason is clouded, and people act impulsively like those who have lost their sanity. This is why the Buddha advises us not to let pleasure deceive us, but to clearly see its dangers.

### A Love Story from a Previous Life and Betrayal

The Buddha revealed the truth behind the young monk’s story: the woman he was infatuated with had been his wife in a previous life, and she had betrayed him. In that past life, he was a skilled archer, and his wife was beautiful. While pursuing bandits, he needed her to hand him his sword. But upon seeing a masculine and attractive bandit, she handed the sword to the robber, who then killed her husband. Venerable Thich Chan Quang emphasizes, "In such a sudden moment, a fleeting attachment to the bandit caused the wife to betray her husband."

The frightening point is not that the husband was bad, but that the mind was bound by external appearances, by the "coolness" of the bandit. In this life, when they meet again, that same attachment continues to lead them. The Buddha teaches that this wife is not trustworthy because she was once a betrayer. That love is merely a repetition of a karmic link across countless lifetimes.

### Intuition, Emotion, and Blind Faith

Venerable Thich Chan Quang recounts the story of Princess Diana, who told her sons, "Trust your heart." The teacher responds firmly, "She was completely wrong! The heart is always wrong. Intuition does not err, but emotional sentiment does."

This is a crucial lesson. Within our minds, three things are easily confused: intuition, emotional sentiment, and faith. Many people possess strong intuition but mistake it for faith. For example, a woman saw a mountain near her home and said, "I believe the mountain will move." Later, the mountain was demolished, and she rejoiced, concluding that the power of belief moved it. The teacher clarifies, "That was not faith, but intuition. She foresaw it, but mislabeled it as belief." When we communicate this incorrectly, the world learns a false lesson: "Believe, and you shall receive." In reality, true strength comes from clear understanding, not blind faith.

The teacher speaks frankly: "I dislike blind faith. To me, everything must be examined by reason, even matters of religion and spirituality."

People often believe before they understand, which is a sign of weakness. Only after thorough examination do we accept something as truth. Therefore, in Buddhism, we must practice with wisdom, not with blind faith.

### Relying on Impermanence Is Unwise

Love, emotions, bodies, and the minds of others are all impermanent (anicca). Placing happiness in these transient things is unwise. The teacher reminds us, "To rely on something that will disappear is lacking in wisdom."

To illustrate this, he tells the story of a clever bricklayer who pretended to buy gold every week to impress a jeweler’s daughter. After marriage, his wife discovered he had only small savings. The teacher notes, "The period before marriage is often pretense. Truth begins only after marriage." Lovers always seem good, but that "goodness" is often due to temporary emotions, physiological drives, or the thrill of conquest. When that phase ends, the truth emerges. Thus, do not rush to trust sweet words of love, for they spring from a heart clinging to desire.

### Practice Contemplation of Impurity and Mindfulness

The Buddha showed the young monk the path to freedom from the bonds of craving. When the mind is calm, we see the impure nature of the body: it is merely a collection of skin, hair, flesh, and bone, constantly changing and dying. Attachment based on form means leaning one’s life on something disintegrating. Attachment based on personality is also unstable, because the mind changes too. The teacher instructs that unless one has attained Arhatship, do not trust your own mind. He says, "If you have not attained Arhatship, do not trust your mind. Free yourself from those feelings and thoughts, for they are not real, nor are they correct or accurate."

This is a warning for all of us.

Life is a stream of constant change. There is no refuge more solid than one’s own spiritual practice. When facing joy, romance, or intense emotion, remember that they are merely ripples on a lake. Return to the breath, to the contemplation of impurity, and to mindfulness. Place your full trust in the wisdom of the Buddha, not in the voice of sensation. Only wisdom and compassion can carry us across the shore of impermanence.