The Secret Behind Love: When Desire is a Thorn and the Way to Overcome

**Summary:** Venerable Thích Chân Quang dissects the true nature of desire and passion, pointing out that worldly love often leads to suffering, and guides methods to face and transform it, keeping the mind pure and clear.

**A Singer's Story and the Lesson of Wastefulness**

Once, while watching television, Venerable Thích Chân Quang saw a singer who was singing and dancing, wearing revealing clothes, and crying out desperately: "Why won't you come to me?" The Venerable thought: "This person is in so much pain!" All the spectacular, costly stage production was just for one person to stand up and scream about a love affair. What a waste! He remarked: "One should only spend effort and money to praise noble things. If she had cried out, 'Why won't you become a monk?' it would have brought much more merit."

Modern society is using far too many resources to glorify love—what the Venerable calls "a great mistake."

**Love—Happiness or Illusion?**

People often dream of a beautiful love: a happy marriage, well-behaved children, greeting each other at the lane entrance every day. But the Venerable points out a harsh truth: "The feeling you get when you see a lovely girl walking by... you must know that behind it are thorns, are hatred, jealousy, and deceit."

The consequence of worldly love is selfishness, malice, and the creation of negative karma. The one who is loved becomes dependent, arrogant, demanding, and causes conflict. In the end, there are only two exits: divorce or a lifetime of endurance.

**The Law of Conservation of Emotional Energy**

In the universe, matter, energy, good and evil are not destroyed; they are transformed. It is the same with emotional energy. The Venerable teaches: "Excessive love will be balanced by hatred... behind loving affection, there is often hatred."

Only when the mind is empty and selfless does love become compassion. To see this, one needs wisdom—to see through to the painful essence behind an attractive exterior.

**The Female Form and Nature's Trap**

The Venerable analyzes why men are easily aroused by a woman in revealing clothing, while the reverse is not as pronounced. The cause is the hormone estrogen, which makes a woman's flesh soft and creates a pleasant feeling. But what is called "beautiful" is merely a preference of the mind. The philosopher Schopenhauer once said: "Woman is a sex lacking in aesthetics, not the fairer sex." The Venerable emphasizes: "The female form is attractive... just seeing it immediately stirs the mind."

Today's society is flooded with sexually suggestive images, causing practitioners to unwittingly accumulate desire in their subconscious, leading to gradual decline.

**The Method of Confrontation—Luring the Venomous Snake from its Hole**

In the face of pervasive temptation, the Venerable introduces the practice of Tibetan monks: to confront sexually suggestive images (such as a nude female statue in a cave) directly, to observe the arising of desire in the mind, and then extinguish it immediately. "As long as there is a stirring of desire, stand right there and eliminate it completely... Only when you can look at it without feeling the mind stirred can you then come out."

For the modern practitioner, whenever encountering revealing sights on the street, one should immediately turn inward, observe one's own mind, and extinguish the nascent liking that arises. Do not let it fall into the subconscious and gradually fill it up.

**The Responsibility of a Buddhist—Upholding the Buddha-Dharma**

The Venerable calls upon both the ordained and the laity to practice purity together. Laypeople who lead clean lives will have persuasive speech, contributing to the flourishing of the Buddha's teachings. "Buddhism has no money... only the spiritual strength of each individual. As each person strives to practice purity, we contribute to the development of Buddhism."

In an era full of temptations, each person must have even greater determination, courageously confronting and transforming their inner world, to safeguard the lamp of the true Dharma.

Desire and passion are thorns, are traps. But with wisdom and resolve, we can overcome them. Begin today: every time the mind is stirred, look directly at it and extinguish it. This is the path leading to true freedom and peace.